Monday, February 14, 2011

unconditional love

February 11, 2011

I woke up in the morning feeling like I had not slept at all. I was depressed and felt like I was made of led. I could not remember my dreams, but they could not have been good. I knew that I had to meditate before I went to work or I would have a very bad day. I was surprised to see how easily I went into a deep trance, and began to feel like myself again. If you have been reading this blog, you know that I have been revisiting a deep connection with my fifth dimensional stepping-stone SELF. This connection began in 1993 and lasted until about 1997.

After that, the challenges of daily life took over. Then, I started writing my website, and I forgot about those messages. Of course, once I was aligned with that energy, those files in my computer jumped up at me, and I revisited that time of my early awakening. As I went deeper and deeper into my morning meditation, I recognized the feeling of Kepier (the aforementioned fifth dimensional expression of my SELF). The energy was extremely strong and filled my heart. I heard her say to me, “I will tell you everything I know.”

Before I had a chance to acclimate to that wonderful statement, I felt an even higher—much higher—frequency come into my Third Eye. It was so powerful that I could hardly breathe and had to calm myself to accept the energy into my form. To my surprise the energy said, “I will teach you how to ascend.”

I knew that I had to get ready for work and that I was way late, so I forced myself back to the physical world. I couldn’t shower or eat a descent meal, but I didn’t care. My energy had gone from dragging on the ground to soaring in the Heavens. On the way to work, my friend called me and told me that Mobarak had stepped down. I thought, of course, that amazing energy was the Flow of the Unity Consciousness of ascension. I floated through the day, which was long, and into the next work day.

I couldn’t find any time to write about this until now, three days later, but it has been constantly in my consciousness. I wish that I could say that I felt wonderful the entire time, but as usual, the extreme light flushed out old patterns of darkness/fear. It took me a while to understand how this amazing experience could have brought up so many ego issues.

As I am sure many of you have experienced how this high frequency light is revealing fear-based thoughts, emotions and behaviors that need to be released. I have been feeling my ambitious self (I am a Capricorn), and I have been my thinking going into comparison and competition. I have been catching these thoughts, but the force of this habit seems to be limitless. Of course, the Unity Consciousness of Oness would flush these fears of limitation to the surface. Yes, they are fears, I have discovered since my meditation. These are fear of not being “good enough.”

Since I was afraid that I was not good enough, I needed to be “better than.” I needed to prove to myself that I was good enough by having some kind of recognition or proof. But why? Why did I need that proof? Then, it came to me. If I really loved my self unconditionally, I would KNOW that, of course, I was Good Enough! When my consciousness resonates to the higher frequencies, I have that Knowing. But my ego, despite decades of work, still holds that fear.

My guess is that the complete transmutation of ego will only come when we are living completely within fifth dimensional consciousness. Whether or not it is possible to always maintain that state of consciousness while living in a physical vessel remains to be seen. In the meantime, I will continue to try to catch my fearful thoughts, emotions and behaviors and heal them with love. Most important, I will endeavor to remember to love myself unconditionally. I say “endeavor,” as I love myself unconditionally enough to know that I fail. I will fail to “catch myself” when I am tired, hungry or stressed out.

Now, knowing that, can I still love myself unconditionally?


  1. Hi Suzanne,lots of love I had for you when I read your story above.
    Lately I read this:
    You don't have to do nothing but rest in the whole being you are now.
    Love , Esse

  2. I have been working on unconditional love a lot lately also. Are we in a period of download as I keep feeling energy flowing into my right forehead, it has been going on for a number of days now. Can't wait to hear you experience on the teaching about Ascension. Have been getting a lot of message on this also. Nolushka

  3. I've been having a lot of these low frequency dreams lately as well. They all seemed like short & fast "scenes" where I was the main actor experiencing negative emotion/thoughts/action. It's like another person, because I'd like to believe that's not me, but deep inside I know I have that part inside of me. Violent retribution was one big theme. I feel dragged down when I wake up. It frustrates me a little that there's still a lot of junk going on inside me.

  4. Isn't it cool about the Middle-east? :) I immediately thought on the same lines as you here, and I was very happy when some of those people there said, "This can be done without bloodshed". Some of them just sang songs, and it happened.

  5. Thank you for your comments. Yes, the greater light is flushing out our hidden darkness, which can create some nasty dreams. Also, some of these bad dreams are when we are doing our "volunteer Rescue-Work." When we do rescue-work we volunteer to cruise the top layers of the Lower Astral Plane to see if anyone is ready to look up into the higher worlds. If they are, then some one is there to assist them. After these dreams, we usually feel tired, and dreams are violent or like a spy novel.