When Mytre ran away from
me, I was sure my heart would break. When I mentioned the Vision Quest I had
spoken from within, without hesitation. And now, I have lost him. How could I
have used such harsh words? I spent the rest of day inside the cave feeling
worse than I could ever remember. How could I go from such wonderful heights of
ecstasy and then plummet into deep despair. Had I lost all touch with my inner
peace just because I had lost a man? However, he was not just any man. He was
my Divine Complement, my Twin Flame. That is what the inner voice said, and my
I tortured myself through
the entire day and into sunset, when I suddenly had a feeling of deep urgency
and pending disaster. Something was about to happen or had just happened to
Mytre. I calmed my mind and went inside to speak to the Mother. All I heard was
“Send him healing love.” Then, I became terrified for that clearly meant that
he was injured. But, where was he injured, and how? It was too late to follow
his tracks, and I would only get lost myself. All I could do was spend most of
the night worrying.
Then, I heard the Mother
saying, “Drink some calming tea and sleep. You must be alert for tomorrow.” I
did what she said and finally fell into a fitful sleep. I do not remember any
dreams, nor did I get much rest. However, I woke up knowing that he had been
injured, and I knew that I must find him. At sunrise, I packed all my healing
herbs, poultices, more clothes, food and water. My pack was heavy, and I would
not able to run. Therefore, I had to bring some kindling and my fire stones. He
had walked off in the direction where the forest ended, and there could be
nothing to burn.
As soon as it was light
enough I started my journey. My pack was heavy and I had to go slowly to read
his tracks. Some times there seemed to be no tracks, and I had to stop to
consult the Mother. I walked all day, and almost till dark. I had never been to
this area, so I had to stop and set up camp. There would be no use in both of
us becoming injured. After I had eaten a small meal, I tried to go within, buy
my growing fear for his safety did not allow me any information or much sleep.
It was mid-day, and I had
to find a way to get off this ledge. Another night in the cold without food or
water would be far too dangerous for my leg. I had not noticed the large gash
in my leg, which was now infected, and I knew I had a fever. If I didn’t move,
I would pass out again. I had to trust the Inner Voice. I could not abandon
Mytria in this way, I could not abandon my duty, and I could not abandon my
As I looked around, I
could see no means of escape. Therefore, I looked inside to ask the Inner
Voice. Perhaps I was hallucinating, but as soon as I closed my eyes, I saw the image
of my SELF in my Vision Quest. “Follow me and listen to the Mother,” he said as
he moved along the ledge to my right. I would have to crawl and drag my right
leg, as I could not damage it more by putting weight on it.
After what seemed like
forever, I found a space between the edge of the ledge and a bolder that I
could—very carefully—crawl along. Once I went around the bolder, I found a
gentler incline toward the top. The ground here was more stable, and there was
even some foliage to grab onto. The Inner Voice reminded me to listen to the
Mother again, and so I did. I touched the earth in the manner which Mytria had
taught me and asked for Her guidance.
Instantly, I had a feeling
to follow a certain trough in the earth, which afforded be enough security to
frequently rest. I fought off my dizziness from my fever and lack of water, and
contacted the Mother with my every choice of movement. My progress was very
slow, but I was gradually moving up the side of the cliff. However, it was
getting dark. I had to get to the top while there was enough light to see what
I was doing.
I realized that I was going
slowly for the sake of my leg, but I had to move more quickly to reach the top
before dark. I closed my eyes for a moment to remember my vision. This version
of me could move without even touching the ground. If I could BE that me, I
could trust my every movement without hesitation. It took a while to envision
my self in that manner, but I gradually began to feel a light about my form. I
slowly opened my eyes to see that my body and the cliff around me were glowing.
I pushed aside my doubts
of “hallucination” and chose to believe my experience. Now, I knew exactly
where to place my hands and my good leg. There was no hesitation, no fear, no
adrenalin, and no pain. I was in some sort of trance that allowed me to become
ONE with the cliff. It almost felt as if the cliff was assisting my movement. When
I looked up and saw an overhanging ledge, I did not fear.
Instead, I easily found an
alternate route that allowed me to easily crawl over the top and onto flat ground.
I rolled away from the cliff and I pulled myself over to a huge rock that held
the heat of the day. I pushed myself against the warm rock and patted it to
thank the Mother. Then, I looked up into the starry sky under which Mytria and
I had fallen asleep many times and saw my body of light embracing hers. With
this image in my mind, I fell into a deep sleep.
We realized later that we
were very close to each other, but did not know it. However, this physical
distance was necessary for us to bridge the etheric gap that still existed
between us. We both looked into the starry sky and thanked the Mother for
assisting us. Even though our bodies were apart, our hearts and minds were
joined as we fell asleep. In fact, we had the same dream, or was it a vision.
We found ourselves back in
the Core of the Mother, at the exact moment of our “accidental” merging. Now,
after all we had been through, being merged into one person felt even stronger.
We were both different people now. We had both survived and successfully
completed our Initiations and had conquered our inner demons, which made our
love even stronger.
As we stood as one,
looking into each other’s eyes, the Mother came to us. We thought it was to
bless us, but it was actually to give us our next assignment.
“My beloved children,” She
said to us both, “You may think your long journey has ended, but it has
actually just begun. I need you both to help me, as you have both become my
allies of transmutation. You have transformed yourselves, and now I must ask
you to assist me to transmute my Planet.”
We were both deeply
honored, but somehow worried. Was there something in Her voice that made us
concerned that we could not stay together? NO, we would not allow that to
happen. After all we had been through, we would never part again—NEVER!
We both awoke to the hint
of dawn. There was not enough light for Mytria to read the tracks, but we were
joined into one being again. Therefore, she simply followed the call of my
love. It was mid day when we rejoined again.
When I awoke from my
dream/vision, I knew Mytria was near. I touched the land to call her through
the earth and sent my love out to her direction. In fact, I could see in my
mind exactly where she was, just as she told me later that she could see me in
the same way. I pulled my self up the hill a bit so that I could more easily
she her approach. I found a strong stick and some how got myself to my feet. I
would not greet her lying on the ground like a wounded animal.
It was then that I saw her
walking towards me. When she saw me, she laid down her heavy pack and ran to me
as fast as she could. When we met our hearts burst with the love that we
thought we had lost, only to regain—stronger than ever. We held each other so
tight that we seemed to be one body, as Mytria sobbed onto my chest. I tried
not to cry, but my joy could only be expressed in the manner.
We stood there for a long
time. All my pain was temporarily gone within the merging of our bodies. In
fact, I felt a great healing force coming from her and into my body. As she
held me and wept, I felt my fever diminish and my leg begin to heal. Then, I
realized that she was draining herself too much in her effort to heal me. I
lovingly pushed her away, keeping my hands on her shoulders.
“Thank you Beloved, I can
heal myself the rest of the way. If you could just assist me to that shady
“Yes,” she spoke as she
looked into my eyes.
Between her support and
the stick I had found, I was able to hobble over to the tree and sit down on
the earth between two large roots. Mytria kissed me on the forehead and ran up
to get her pack.
“I will have to set this
leg before I dress it,” she said apologetically.
Before I knew it, the leg
was set, my wound was cleaned, wrapped in herbs, which where covered with a
tree bark, and the sticks I had found were replaced and held in place by a
“When we get back to OUR
camp, I can make you a proper cast,” she said as she gently patted my leg.
We decided to stay there
for the remainder of the day and take off to OUR home at sunrise the next day.
It was an excellent decision, for that night under the stars was beyond words.
Some how we managed to make love. In fact, we made love again and again, each
time going deeper and deeper into each other’s very Soul, in fact, into our
Mytria had heard of Divine
Complements during her Temple studies, and told me all she knew. And then, we
had to make love again, which is when it happened. Mytria tried to keep it from
me, but I knew we made a child then. How could we not? The heavens almost opened
and sent her down. Yes, it would be a daughter, our daughter, our love-child.
When morning came, I
felt almost healed. That is until I tried to walk.
When Mytria turned away without even answering my
question and walked into the cave I was enraged. Who did she think I was, some
toy that she could play with and discard when I became boring? Without another
thought I turn and walked away as fast as I could. In fact, walking was not
fast enough, so I began to run. I had not realized what good condition I was in
after my time on the land, but I ran until it was almost sunset before I became
The running had felt good; it felt real. Also, I was
proud of myself that I didn’t stay there and humble myself even further. I had
been following her around like a child long enough. I was a MAN, a Protector
who had a bright future in the Military. How could I have become so lost, so
ensnared in the trap of a woman’s arms? I guess it was time to go back to being
myself. This time had been a fun fantasy, but I was now for reality, for duty.
I continued to walk at a very pace as the sun
continued to move below the horizon. I was so engaged in my anger, self pity
and, I hate to admit it, fear, that I was not paying any attention to the land.
In my effort to forget about Mytria, I was trying to forget everything she had
shown me. Then it happened…
I did not even notice how close I was standing to a
huge precipice, nor did I notice the loose rocks under my feet. Then, before I
could come out of my self-pity, I began to fall. Fortunately, the rocks tumbled
beneath me so I did not drop straight down, but I could see a steep ledge
coming up below me. If I went over that ledge I would be gravely injured or
die. I grabbed desperately at the surrounding roots and plants, but they all
broke off with my grasp.
Finally, I got ahold of a large enough root to bear
my weight, but not for long. I had to find a way to land on that ledge, but it
was over to my right. The surrounding cliff was all loose rocks, so I would
have to create a controlled fall—like I had learned in the military. Perhaps I
could swing from the root so that I would fall on the ledge, but I had to avoid
the loose rocks. I had to decide NOW, as the root was giving way.
I focused my attention and intention on the
destination of my “fall,” swung the root a bit to the right and jumped/fell. I
did land on the ledge, but with such force that I felt my right leg break
beneath me. I almost lost my balance, but somehow leaned against the wall of
the ledge until I felt secure. I carefully sat down to assess the condition of
I was only wearing the short robe, tied at the waist
with a sash, which Mytria had made me from her plant material. The very thought
of her name brought not anger, but overwhelming grief. What had I done? Why had
I become so angry? No, the proper question was, why had I become so afraid? However,
this was not the time to ponder my erratic behavior. This was the time to think
about my survival. I had only the clothes on my back. Some military man to run
off into the wilderness with no supplies, not even a knife.
I pulled my self over to some long sticks, put them
on either side of my leg and wrapped my sash around them to somewhat steady my
leg. I would have to find a way to set it myself, if I lived that long. There
was only a dim light and it was becoming cold already. I had to protect my body
from going into shock. There was only a small ledge and loose dirt around me.
Therefore, I dug myself into the surrounding dirt, leaving out my leg to avoid
infection. I had no food, no water, no supplies and no tools. Furthermore, I
had totally lost all touch with Nature and had no idea where I was.
All I could do not was sleep so that my body could
begin to heal itself. I would have to control my mind and calm my breathing. I
felt the adrenaline coursing through my body, which would keep me alert, when I
needed to remain calm. My wound was not fatal, unless it got infected, which
was a huge possibility in these circumstances. I would have to ask the Mother
for help. Did I actually have that thought?
It was in that exact moment that I had the first
experience of my “higher self.” I knew that my brain had that thought, but it
was not the same brain that hysterically ran off like a frightened dog.
“Do not judge yourself,” came an unbidden thought.
And then, I had the most amazing experience of
unconditional love, at least it seemed that way. Perhaps it was Mytria, for she
was the only one in my life that made me feel that way.
“NO, it is I,” continued the inner voice.
I had heard about the inner voice before. Some people
totally changed their lives and became very spiritual, whereas others became
sick, confused, angry and frightened. I realized then that I had been in the
later group. I had been unable to perceive any form of inner world. Even during
my time with Mytria, I was communicating with the Mother Planet, who was
underneath and around me.
Never before had I imagined a reality within my form
other than the makings of a physical form. With these last words I started to
drift off into sleep. At least, I thought it was sleep. Maybe it was a
hallucination or maybe I was dying. However, now I know that it was the Truth.
Truth, that was a word that was just as dubious as
the word Trust. I had trusted Mytria, totally and without question. Why had the
mere suggestion of a Vision Quest set me into such an emotional state? That
question was the last thought I had before I passed out, went to sleep, or had
In my vision, I was alone on the land. It was the
same land that I had shared with Mytria, but it was filled with light.
Everything had a soft aura around it and seemed to whisper to me as I passed by.
I, too, had a glow around me, and my body seemed to be made of light and it was
almost transparent. I looked down to see if my leg was healed and found that,
yes, it was totally fine, but my feet were not totally touching the ground. I
was moving in a walking, floating motion, almost like treading water in our
Again a pang of overwhelming grief overtook me, and I
bolted into consciousness. What have I done? How could I have ruined the only
good thing in my life? Why was I so afraid that she was tired of me?
“Because you were tired of your self,” came that
Then, I realized that I had damned my own inner
voice, my own self. Suddenly, I began to realize all the ways that I had damned
myself through out my entire life. Finally, I realized that I do NOT like
I do not like killing other people, I do not like
destroying their homes or disrupting their property. I do not like destroying
anything or any one. I don’t want to be a destroyer. I thought I would grow up
to be a protector, but instead I became an enemy of people and beings that were
“different” from me—but where they really different?
They all had a heart, or maybe two, they all had
brains, many had much larger brains than mine, and they ALL had families. AND,
I had destroyed them, as well as their families. How could I ever forgive
myself? How could I ever be the person that I saw in my Vision? Yes, it was a
Vision. At least I could own that.
“It is not a Vision, it is the Truth,” I heard
“What Truth, the truth that I was a destroyer or the
truth that I was having a vision?” Now, I was arguing with my inner voice.
“The Truth is that you ARE the person that you saw in
your Vision,” whispered the voice within.
After that I think I passed out. However, I did
awaken with those final words of “You ARE the person that you saw in your
Vision in my heart.” Yes, amazingly enough, these words, this Truth, was still
in my heart, right next to my love for Mytria. That thought jarred me fully
awake to a mid-day sun. I pulled myself out of the dirt and started to take a
military assessment of my situation, when I felt Mytria’s love.
Even though, I had fallen off a cliff to avoid her
love, it was right where it had ALWAYS been. It was the love she had for me
that had forced me to find the love I had for myself. Therefore, I pushed aside
my old way of being. After all, it was that combative attitude that had gotten
me into this fix. Then, my Protector self came into play. I had to protect
Mytria, but I had to stay alive to do so.
“What about the planet? Do you have to protect Her
It appeared that even when I was totally conscious
and in broad daylight, the inner voice was still active. Did I have the courage
to listen to it?
We slept together in the
small alcove with her worn bedding. However, she had put something underneath
it, and it was incredible warm and soft. She slept as sounding and sweetly as a
baby. I, of course, slept very little at all. First, my mind would not stop.
Everything that I had ever believed in, all the structure, lessons, discipline
and obedience that I had grown up with had been revealed as the old paradigm
for my past life.
As l lay there with her
warm body next to mine, in fact, VERY close to mine, I knew that I was changed
forever. I had no idea what I had changed into, but I was positive that the
“me” I used to be had died a sudden death. As I lay in the warm, darkness with
the sent of her body filling my heart, I reviewed my life. I was born to a
military family. There was no choice as to what I would do. Of course, I would
be a military person. It was our family’s legacy to protect our world, our way
However, since we came to
this planet, our reality had vastly changed. For the first time in my life,
which was about 90 of your years, making me a young adult, I did not KNOW what
my life would be. Before our people were able to “let our guard down” and feel
safe in our new home, I had an important contribution. However, as I saw others
settling down and totally changing their perspective on life, I held strongly
to the indoctrination that I had had since birth.
Maybe I was a unique
person, and maybe I could find a unique experience of life that was different
from all the generations of our proud and
brave heritage? That kind of thinking had been hidden in my brain since I
was a small child. Since then, I had never allowed those thoughts to come to
the surface. Then, I literally ran into a woman, experienced her entirely
unique experience of life. It was than that those hidden, childhood thoughts began
prying their way to the surface.
How could I possibly push
aside all that I had stood for, all that I thought defined me a powerful man,
and all that I thought I had loved? Now, in one very long night, I had become a
totally different person. However, I did not know this new person, so I had no
idea of who I was or what I would do. I only knew that I could not go back to
our village in this state of confusion.
As if she had heard my
thoughts, Mytria rolled over to face me with opened eyes and smiled. Now there
was no question. Not only could I not return to a life that had become barren
of meaning, I could not leave that smile.
Mytria quietly got up and
started her small fire. I watched as she put water in her small pan to make OUR
tea, then went outside, likely to wash. Without her next to me, I felt lonely.
How could that be? I had just met her, but felt like we had always been together.
While she was gone, I went
to my pack and got my communication device. However, it did not work here.
Perhaps it is the cave, I thought as I rose to go outside to use it. Before she
even turned around, she said, “Your device won’t work here. There is an etheric
shield around this area, and no technology works here. Believe me, I tried.” When
she turned toward me to continue speaking I experienced that same feeling of
recognition and any doubts I had about staying vanished.
“You have decided to stay?”
“Do you always read my
thought,” I said with a smile in my voice.
“Only when you are
thinking about me,” she smiled in return. “Are you avoiding my question?”
“Yes,” I said. “I was
thinking that I should ask you first.”
“Yes, I should ask you or
yes I should stay?”
“Yes, I would love to get
to know you and show you my world.”
“I will have to tell them
that you are safe and I am not returning—yet.”
“Then you will destroy
I had not thought of
making my decision so permanent, so unalterable, but I realized that the kind
of change I was facing would take my total commitment.
“Would you like to help me
find some eggs? I will ask the birds if they can surrender one for us.”
After we had eaten the
surrendered eggs and more delicious plants, which she had seasoned with her
unknown herbs, she showed me the portal out of the energy field and turned to
go back to her home.
“Aren’t you going with me
to make sure that I destroy the device?” I teasingly said.
“I trust you.” She said as
she turned away.
Her trust was the most
amazing part of my experience. Not only did she totally trust me, which she
said was because she knew me, she also totally trusted Nature. She lived her
every moment in unity with the planet and the flora and fauna which whom she
shared her life. There was no differentiation between what was alive and what
was thing. Everything, even a rock, was alive in her world.
I wanted to share her
world, but my scientific mind rebelled at such novel thinking. I had never
realized how indoctrinated I was until I tried to change my mind. On the other
hand, my body showed no resistance to change. I quickly forgot about my uniform
and only wore what I normally slept in. The weather was usually very warm in
the day and cold at night, but our bed was always warm.
When it was not too cold,
we would sleep outside and she would show me all the Star System she had found.
I was able to fill in many of the official names, but I usually preferred her
names for them. In the day, we took long walks so that she could show me all
the territory she had mapped. I assisted her with that. There was a plant that
grew by a nearby river, which she had learned to “beat” into a kind of paper
and she would write on it with “ink” that was sap from a certain tree.
Other plants could be
dried and woven into a cloth, of which she made me an amazingly comfortable
garment. She also showed me where all the eatable plants where, as well as the
source of her honey. She showed me how to be so still that a bird would land on
my shoulder and so quiet that I could hear the beating of my heart.
Fortunately, I was not
useless. I had the strength that she lacked and a few tools, which allowed us
to make our home even more comfortable. Yes, it was OUR home. We lived in it as
one person, sharing all chores without any conflict or duty. If something
needed to be done, we did it. However, we had our specialties. If we needed
something built or moved, I was called in. On the other hand, if we needed to
consult the Mother, she was called in.
Then one day she told me
that it was time for me become ONE with the Mother Planet. I told her that I
had no idea how to do that, and quite frankly, I did not think the Mother
wanted to become ONE with me.
“How can you say that?”
she said in a shocked voice.
“I am not pure, like you.
I have killed many beings and destroyed much land. I have been a warrior where
the love that you speak of is a weakness and the trust that you hold is mere
I had to think before I
answered her. She deserved a true response, and I did not know my truth yet.
Hence, all I could say was, “I did feel that way once, but that me is no-more.
I don’t know this new me enough to answer your question. I do believe you, and
I see the great strength that you have gained not by domination, but through
surrender. However, I don’t think it is possible for me to connect with
something as vague as the Great Mother.”
“You do not need to
surrender to Her, for I am Her representative. Therefore, you can surrender to
me. It is often that way with men. Their minds are filled with protection and
duty. Only deep love with a woman can allow them to release their protections
and totally surrender.”
“How did you know that I
deeply love you? I don’t even think I knew it myself until you said the words.”
Without a word spoken, she
took me into our cave to give me the “proof” I needed.
As we merged through our
love making, our consciousness intermingled so deeply that I could feel how she
communed with all life. With this feeling shared between us, she showed me how
to touch the land to find water, to smell a plant and put it to my heart to
determine if it was safe to eat, how to ask a bird to surrender an egg, how to
read the weather long before it changed and how to look into my SELF.
“Your relationship with
the Mother depends on your relationship with your SELF.” She told me again and
again. At first, the relationship with my SELF could only come as a by-product
of my relationship with her. I had never been taught to have a relationship
with my SELF. I was taught to follow orders, fulfill my duty and obey my
commanding officers. I had spent my life being the “effect” of an external
“cause.” If I was successful in my endeavor, I was happy and proud of myself.
If I failed in my duty, I was ashamed and angry with my self.
I had not heard of the
“greater” or “higher” version of my SELF that Mytria spoke of. The only greater
part of me would be my fellow warriors, and my higher self was my commanding
officers. I lived on the outside of me. Inside of me were bones and blood and
organs that somehow survived their myriad wounds. I had no concept of a spirit
me, or the etheric me that Mytria said she merged within the Core. In fact, I
had no concept of that experience other than it being a “sexy” dream.
However, I had finally
trusted some one. I trusted Mytria absolutely and completely. I trusted that
she could make my energies rise up from my spine into my heart, or even into my
mind. However, I had no concept that I could accomplish this without her help.
It was this concept that disturbed me greatly. Was I becoming hypnotized by
someone who was showing me a vision of reality that could never be mine?
Again, she read my
thoughts. “I think you have had enough for now. It is time for you to go on a
“A vision quest? What is
that,” I said in an angry fashion. She has tired of being my teacher, as I had
become weak in her eyes, I thought. This entire experience was a fantasy, an
excuse to ignore my duties. What had I been thinking? How could I dare to be
different than all the men in as many generations as I could count? A vision
quest, HA, get out of my home is more like it.”
Mytria did not engage in
my inner battle. She merely turned and went into the cave.
“Where have your been?” I spoke gruffly, perhaps to
cover up the intensity of emotion that I felt at her very touch. “Your friends
are concerned for you and sent me to find you.” I said in a softer voice.
“How do you know that I am the one you seek?” she
replied with a resonance in her voice that instantly calmed my demeanor.
“I am sorry I was so gruff with you. It is just that
I have been searching for you such a very long time. How did you get lost way
“I am not lost. I live close by.”
“Live?” I said trying to control my intense emotions.
“There is no where to live out here.”
“Follow me,” she said. “I will show you my home.”
She walked away, and I followed her without question.
We walked through almost total darkness, but never hesitated. As I followed her
strangely familiar form, I became more and more enchanted by her. Who was she?
Why did I feel like I knew her? I had never had these feeling for anyone in my
life, and I had barely seen her face.
We walked for quite a while in total silence, while I
tried to contain my emotions and see in the darkness. The moons had not come up
yet and the sky was hazy, yet her every step was sure as if she had made this
journey many times. Meanwhile, I was trying to maintain my dignity and not trip
or fall. I, who took such pride in being a leader, followed her every footstep.
As if timed by some unseen source, the moons came up
just as we came around a huge rock and entered a small area filled with flowers,
plants, a small pond and even flat rocks that were arranged like chairs. How
did she move those rocks? However, I said nothing. I did not want to embarrass
myself again by speaking rashly. However, obviously, she was NOT lost, and I
had greatly misjudged her.
“It is getting cold now. Would you like to come
inside?” she said as if she totally trusted me.
“Ahh, yes,” I stammered in a very undignified manner.
“Let me start a fire, so you can see inside,” she
said as she moved to a collection of rocks that created a small fire pit just outside
the cave in a small, sheltered area. She collected some kindling and what
looked like moss, struck two stones together, and instantly a small flame
ignited the kindling. She had obviously lit this fire many times. Then she
took, what looked like a grid and placed it onto the rocks.
“I will make some tea to warm us.” She easily said.
“You have tea?” I said in a rudely, surprised manner.
“Oh yes,” she said as she guided me into the cave
where I saw many herbs hanging upside down to dry.
“Where did you find these?” I asked, again in a voice
that was too surprised.
She ignored my rude behavior and turned towards me to
reply. However, when our eyes met in the flickering light, neither one of us
could speak for what seemed to be forever. It was she who spoke first.
“I know you,” she said without any shyness.
“Yes.” was all I could say. I did know her, but I
also knew I had never met her.
She turned again and chose some herbs, broke them up,
put them into a small metal pan. She filled the pan with water from the clear creak
the trickled through the cave and placed the pan on the grid.
“Would you like honey?” she said.
She smiled in response to my question.
“Ahh, sure.” I stammered again.
Rather than embarrass myself further, I looked around
the small cave to get my bearings and to calm down. I could not believe my
eyes. She had, indeed, created a home here, and she appeared to be alone.
“Do you live alone here?”
“Oh no! I am not alone. I live with Nature.”
I glanced around her home again. Off to the right I
saw what was likely her begging. It looked old and well used.
“Yes, I see that you do. I am sorry for my rudeness.
I have greatly underestimated you. I expected to find you, wounded, or worse,
and in great danger. Instead, I see that you have created a lovely home. How
did you do all this?”
“I asked the Great Mother for help.” She said, as if
I would know what that meant.
“Yes, you know the Elohim Alcyone whom we met in the
“But, that was just a dream. How could you know about
In fact, I was quite surprised that the “dream”
instantly returned to my memory.
She chose to completely ignore my question and turned
to create a small meal comprised of food that I had never seen. She took two half-gourds,
which she used for plates and guided me to a small ledge. In front of the ledge
with a small table made of intertwined twigs that served as a table.
In complete amazement, I sat where she indicated and
silently watched while she put the plates on the “table” and went to gather the
“I am afraid I only have one cup. Do you mind if we
I silently nodded my head in amazement, as she handed
me the tea.
“Oh,” she said as she walked over to another ledge
where she had a small metal container. She brought it back and offered it to me
“Would you like some of this honey?”
Again I silently nodded, as she poured a small amount
of the sweet liquid into the steaming tea.
“Please eat,” she said and offered me my plate.
“I don’t want to be rude,” I said—to late—as I had
already been incredibly rude, “but how did you know that these plants are not
“They told me.” She simply replied.
“Uh, how did they tell you?” I questioned.
“I merely smelled them and placed them on my heart.
If they were poisonous, I felt fear, and if they were nutritious, I felt love.”
“But wasn’t that dangerous? What if you were wrong?”
“I trusted my self, and I trusted Nature.”
I said nothing more. I shared the delicious tea and
ate the tasty plants. I guess if she could trust me enough to bring me into her
home, I could trust her enough to eat her food. Trust? I pondered that concept,
as I tried to think of the last time that I had trusted anyone.
Mytria’s awakening happened before we met, whereas my
awakening started that evening. Everything that had been important in my life
seemed unimportant compared to the simple peace that she shared with me that
first night. I had been driven by ambition and trusted no one in my struggle to
become a leader and Protector in our new world.
Interestingly, so many people trusted me, but I
trusted no one. However, I did trust her. I ate her possibly poisonous food and
drank her tea of an unknown “herb” without hesitation. In fact, as I sat on
that small ledge, I knew that my life had changed forever. I would never be the
same person again, which was a good thing. I had not been too fond of myself
As if reading my mind, she looked into my eyes and
said, “I was nearly dead when I came here. The Mother has healed me and has
given me a wonderful life.”
She then took the plates and our one-cup and went outside
to wash them. I said nothing, and didn’t even offer to help her. I had come
here to save her, but it was apparent that it was she who would save me.
I, Mytre, will return to continue my story…
I am embarrassed to say that I vividly remembered the
feeling of the merging with the male etheric form to the tiniest detail, but I
could not remember my personal message from The Arcturian. Was I that desperate
for love that I would disrespect the message that was given me directly from an
Arcturian? Fortunately, I did not ponder that question when I first awoke. I
was too weak. My etheric form had stayed out of my body for too long, and my
body was going into shock.
I experienced two realities at once. I felt my
etheric body desperately trying to get back into my physical shell, and I also
felt my weak, cold and semi-conscious physical form try to accept its spirit. I
was not dreaming or even meditating. I had a high fever and my body was turning
blue. I was barely breathing and I was very, very cold.
I pulled myself into a tight a ball and pushed
against the rock in an urgent and futile attempt to find warmth. I kept loosing
consciousness, coming back, than passing out again. It would soon be dark, and
the nights were very cold here.
I don’t know if I was conscious or unconscious when I
saw a beautiful Lady of Light. She was huge and looked as though she was made
of clouds and stars. I called to her to help me as she floated towards me. I
don’t know if the next memory was real or a hallucination, but she floated
right past me and into the rock against which I was leaning.
Blessed warmth seemed to stream from where she
entered the rock, and I heard a haunting lyrical tone in my mind. Some how I
found the strength to crawl towards the place where the Light Being entered the
rock. I was so weak that I had to hold on to the rock to stand up, but when I
did so, I feel through a slit, or was it the vortex, and into a dark cave. It
was warm, and I heard running water as I fell off to sleep.
I don’t know how long I slept, but I do remember
stirring to drink some water, then go back to sleep. After a while, I
discovered some fungus growing by the water. I brought a piece of it to my nose
and lips and sensed that it was fine to eat. I took just a few bites, then fell
back to sleep, completely full.
Finally, I woke up feeling restless and saw what
looked like a beam a light. Holding on to the wall of the cave to rise and to
walk, I followed the beam of light to its source, which was the mouth of the cave.
The air was clear and warm, and I felt better than I had in a long time. I had
almost forgotten my “dream, meditation and/or vision,” but I remembered that the
planet was beautiful and fertile.
I dozed in the Sun until hunger stirred me to find
some edible plants or roots. The water that ran through the cave gathered in a
small pond that was surrounded by plants. I recognized several plants as edible
and found my one remaining bowl, filled it with water and drank while I ate the
plants. When it grew cold, I went back into the cave to sleep. I’m not sure how
long I lived like this, for I was so deep within my self that I often did not
note the passage of days.
I lived in the now of nature. I ate when I was
hungry, drank when I was thirsty, moved when I was stiff and slept when I was
tired. I was outside when the weather permitted and in the cave when it was
cold, raining or dark. However, sometimes I stayed up very late or got up very
early to memorize stars and constellations. Then, when I was stronger, I began
to wander the land to map that, as well.
I grew healthier every day and sleep soundly every
night. My dreams were very vivid, but I usually forgot them in the light of
day. I did not try to hold them in my memory. In fact, I did not “try” to DO
anything. I lived with the land, looked up into the sky, soaked in the pond and
rummaged for food. On day I found two rocks that created a spark when struck
again each other, and I was able to make a fire.
In order for me to move forward into my greater
expression of self, I went backward into the primitive elements of survival. After
a while, even the memory of my merging with the male was lost from my memory. I
could not think about what had happened before or what would happen next. I
lived every breath in calm serenity. I think I could have lived my entire life
that way, until I met him.
I had traveled very far that day and had found a
wonderful lake with a waterfall and a lovely place to dive into the deep water.
After my small pond, it was exhilarating to dive, swim and stand beneath the
waterfall. I was having such a delightful time that I did not notice that night
was approaching. Finally, I looked up and realized that I must hurry back to
the cave. I climbed out of the water and was walking quickly toward the
direction of my cave when I ran directly into someone.
I could not see his face in the dim light, but I knew
instantly that it was him. It was the male with whom I had merged in the cave.
But now he was physical, and so was I.
When we return, Mytre will speak of his early