Saturday, December 20, 2014

Looking Back to Move Forward -- A 10 Year Journey



A 10 Year Journey

As we come into the final days of the year 2014, I realize that I have written a Newsletter almost every month since 11-24-03. Feeling nostalgic I decided to find a representative writing for each year, preferable on a month close to the end of the year. 
Today, I begin the walk down memory lane toward January 1, 2015. 
I send many thanks and unconditional love to my many wonderful friends who walk this lane with me. 



Arcturian Message

In moments in which you are bound by time and space, you are a point of focus that is the perspective of one of the many aspects that is your SELF. Lets begin with the perspective of your Grounding Point sitting at the top of the stadium as you look down on the infamous 3D Game.

You can feel the illumination of the immense stadium lights just over your head. These lights are your compassionate, beyond-human Self. From the perspective of your Grounding Point, these lights still seem “above” you. 

If you were to remember being One, or perhaps being all of the lights, you, too, would become beyond human.  You would be Light; in fact, you would become Lightbody.  Just as you are now Soul inside and human outside, when you become the “lights” you will be Soul outside and human inside.  The “I” that once was “ME” will become the “WE,” as your Lightbody no longer lives with the illusion of separation.  Hence, your “I” would be “WE.”

You now feel the yearning to become the lights and an inner tug to be aware of your humanness as a part of your SELF rather than our SELF as a part of your humanness.  But, if you did become the lights, would you return to the stadium?  Could you enjoy the game that you are all so busily cheering for? There are two teams down there, the BAD team in the dark uniforms and the GOOD team in the light uniforms.

You understand that the teams wear uniforms so that the audience can tell the difference between the teams. They also wear uniforms so that each team member can tell who is on “their” team and who is on the “other” team. 

Otherwise, a “good” guy might assist a “bad” guy or a “bad’ guy might assist a “good” guy.  What if they all had the same uniform—the human uniform?  Then it would be very difficult to keep track of the game.  How could the audience know who was winning and who was losing? 

The game would be just a bunch of humans running around and interacting with each other.  There would be no drama, no winner and no loser.  But from the top of the “stadium,” it is difficult to differentiate the uniforms. 

The light uniforms have become so soiled from rolling in the dirt that they are now as dark as the dark uniforms.  Some of the audience, those sitting at the base of the stadium, can still distinguish between the light and dark, but most of “them,” who are actually fragments of your complete SELF, can no longer tell the difference; nor do “they” care.

You are bored with watching the game of good and bad. You do not care who wins, because you know that you are ALL on the same team.  The constant conflict has become tedious to you, and you are now far more curious about the lights above you.

As you look around the stadium, you see that more and more of you are tiring of the game and have turned your attention up, towards the lights.  How would it feel to BE the lights? 

More and more of you look up into the lights, whereas only a few are still watching the game.  Why, even some of the team members have stopped their eternal competition to look into the lights!

As more of you look up into the lights, rather than down onto what the lights are illuminating, the members of the audience blur into one audience.  Even the members of the two opposing teams blur into “the players.” 

Many of them are also fed up with the game and climb up into the audience, so that they can better see the lights. The lights are living magnets.  They embrace all of you with their Essence, which is the feeling of FREEDOM. 

The lights whisper into your Essence, “Wait until everyone is ready to see us. Then we have a surprise for you beyond your imagination!”

You don’t want to wait, but yet you know that you will. You will wait until every fragment of your SELF is ready to release the game.  You will use the force of your “waiting” to build an energy field that even your most “lost self” cannot ignore. 

You will then allow the impetus of this field to build until, not only the entire audience becomes the light, but also the stadium, the parking lot, the earth under the parking lot, in fact—all of it—all the EARTH, all the planet, shall BECOME THE LIGHT.

Then, and only then, will the 3D game be over!

I had a meditation in which I was instructed to add the below section to this process. 
I hope that you, my wonderful readers,  will join me in this activity by posting your answers.
Then, as we "Look Back to Move Forward"we can do so together.
I begin by posting my answers.

The 5 W's
WHO did you see yourself as in 2003? (how we perceive our self is WHO we are)
WHAT were you doing? (and how did "doing" that impact your perception of self) 
WHERE  did you live? (where we live greatly influences us)
WHEN were you most SELF-aware in that year?
WHY were you SELF-aware in that NOW? 

If you wish to post your answers it will assist in our Unity Consciousness.

I will begin that process by posting my answers.
WHO In 2003 I had just lost my second parents and saw myself a full adult.
WHAT In 2003 I began to "come out," but only under the cover of Suzan Caroll.
WHERE I was a homeowner for the first time in my life.
WHEN I would say I was most SELF aware at my Father's funeral.
WHY With no parents to define me, I was fully able to define myself.


  1. This was very smart and complete. I have no words to answer to such smart message. You assure me 100% surrender ... you are really very wise and lovable!
    Thank you from Sofia, Bulgaria.
    I congratulate all

    1. ... or maybe WE are. I am confused what AM I, where is the boundary of me and you and we and is there such a boundary at all, but I feel that is ОК.

    2. That is a wonderful question Assertt!

    3. I love that question!
      Where does 'I' stop and 'You' or 'We' begin? Are there even solid boundaries or is it fluid and ever changing and expanding ? In other words, what defines Me as Me and You as You? How does one's state of consciousness influence one's answer to this question and thus one's truth? Thank you for awesome question Assert. Nuri

    4. WHO : still remembering and being Oneness but also a warrior for Life and Truth,wounded
      during some Operations-Missions : i adore ahimsa but sometimes i am on Service to Life,
      WHAT : trying to remember ,trying to be..aware
      WHERE: as closer to nature and oneness as possible …
      WHEN : also when i saw first time a real funeral pyre..(Pashupatinath:Nepal…)
      WHY: impermanence of some holograms is a gift of Eternal Change from the One..

  2. yes om
    italian translations also from Site :email
    we are one

  3. Who: Burned out on my job and wanting a change.
    What: I quite my job and stayed home with our newly adopted son.
    Where: Lived in Midwest of US
    When: Most self aware... Time after adoption
    Why: I was most self aware because I did not have a job to define me.

  4. Thank you for sharing, and congratulations on your new son,

  5. "You are bored with watching the game of good and bad. You do not care who wins, because you know that you are ALL on the same team." This quote really pulls my heart string. Thank you for sharing this lovely message, Sue. Not so many channelers have the courage to say something like this of integrating light and dark. That's why I love reading your articles:)
    WHO: A regular high school student who was striving and struggling so hard like everyone else in the school in order to get admitted to the most prestigious university in the country, but only came to the painful realization that he was not even close.

    WHAT: Failing the college entrance exam served as a "wake-up" call to me which gradually reminded me that I was not as outstanding as I had thought. And I should learn to let go.

    WHERE: Living on campus for most of the four years. Occasionally came back to stay with my parents on holidays. It was almost 5-hour ride by train, so I did't go home every often.

    WHEN: That summer when I learned not only had I failed entering my prestigious college, but also failed my college entrance exam. Plus, several of my classmates beat me on the entrance exam even though I aced them every semester. Not until then did I gradually start to accept that I am not perfect at all, and there is no need to be perfect.

    WHY: I was so blindly pursuing my ideal college, and set my goal way too high. Too unrealistic. I tried to LOOK NICE like everyone else who always bragged about entering a good college and have a promising career. I used to think that other classmates were no match to me, but it turned out I DO have weakness, but I just couldn't accept it. And after entering college, the competition is less keener than that in high school. It was a time for me to rest for a while from the living hell competition of high school, and stat to look inside. Then it gradually dawned on me that if a fish is only good at swimming, why force it to have a climbing race with a monkey? That contest is meaningless. What is important is that I should learn to accept my merits and demerits.

  6. Hi Sue,
    I have been reading your posts for almost a month now and I really love them a lot. This is the first time I am responding to your post and you.

    WHO A student who made it to a prestigious college to pursue post graduation in computer applications and was capable of topping the college.
    WHAT studying my PG and dreaming to make it big in the IT industry, fly to US like everyone else.
    WHERE in Hyderabad, India.
    WHEN I was just enjoying the feeling of falling love and then immediatly faced rejection. The almost depressed to a state of near failure in exams from being a topper.
    WHY i realized that i was ultimately degrading my own future by being carried away by unnecessary emotions for people who didnt even care.

    1. Thank you. It is helpful to look back at what we learned from what we thought we had done wrong.

    2. Awesome exercize Sue!

      WHO, I was a 3rd year Bachelor student who had just moved out of my parent's house and started living on my own.
      WHAT, experimenting with my newfound freedom and getting to know my boundaries and my willpower
      WHERE, I lived in the town where I was studying, Delft-Netherlands
      WHEN, when I didn't succeed in juggling many balls in the air at the same time (work, internship, studies etc.)
      WHY, knowing that I didn't manage to balance my life and had to make changes, facing my fear of failure and of being judged by others.....
      Thank You

    3. Thanks for sharing Nuri, becoming an adult is such a challenge

  7. Dear Sue: This is helpful to look back ten years ago and see how much I've learned.
    Who: I was 45 years old and living the dark night of my soul.
    What: This period is a blur but I do remember having two deeply disappointing jobs back to back: as an insurance agent and as a furniture salesman.
    Where: Marquette, MI.
    When: Eleven years earlier I'd moved my family back to our hometown because my father had died and I was the child who chose to shepherd my mother through the remaining yeas of her life - a thankless and difficult job.
    Why: This task ultimately led me to look God squarely in the eyes and ask "WTF!" I can say with gratitude that I have been guided to receiving answers to that BIG question ever since.
    Thank you.

    1. Thank you for your sharing. I too "shepherded" my parents into their crossing and know how very difficult, and rewarding, it can be.

  8. This is very interesting because I find myself looking "back in time" and it feels as though I am clearing it. It is astonishing.
    WHO did you see yourself as in 2003? (how we perceive our self is WHO we are)-I was 49 years old that year, huge shifts in that my health failed (burst appendix) and I quit a job that was going nowhere. I began to heal that year with a new job and new directions in my search for my soul and spiritual awakening.
    WHAT were you doing? (and how did "doing" that impact your perception of self) I was working in Child Protection, trying to change the system and make a difference. It was overwhelming and destructive. I felt like a failure in that and really needed to heal on physical, mental, and spiritual levels. Changed jobs to do something to help in another way. Began spending more time doing what I love and waking up in my searching.
    WHERE did you live? (where we live greatly influences us) - Ogallala, NE and began thinking about living somewhere else. In five years, we moved to our present location and it is truly something I visualized for over 20 years... living in a home in the woods.
    WHEN were you most SELF-aware in that year? As I was recovering from the burst appendix and knew I had to change jobs. It was like a light switch went on.
    WHY were you SELF-aware in that NOW? In searching and beginning to understand, I knew that I had to make the changes, as frightening as they were, or I felt as though I would not survive.
    Thank you for the amazing sharing and work that you do.
    With Infinite Love and Light...

  9. Thank you for sharing. I too worked in the "system" for many years.

  10. WHO did you see yourself as in 2003? (how we perceive our self is WHO we are)
    - I saw myself as a 33 year-old stalion, 100% sex-oriented, but knowing that would eventually stop sometime.

    WHAT were you doing? (and how did “doing” that impact your perception of self)
    - searching for ways to fulfill my desire for pleasure.

    WHERE did you live? (where we live greatly influences us)
    - The same town i live today, but in another area.

    WHEN were you most SELF-aware in that year?
    - i don't know exactly; it was a very busy year.

    WHY were you SELF-aware in that NOW?
    - i was not self-aware at all, illusion was my day and life looked like a playground.

    1. Thank you for sharing. I love the humor and honesty,

  11. WHO? I saw myselfin 2003, Taking command of my husbandsrecovery from a surgery. Then he contracted diabetes. Double challenge for me at 62. Left final job,went early SSA and moved to Alamogordo,NM

    Where: took on an apartment and chose to live near a park and RR tracks. Left RVing from Las Cruces, NM. Then moved to HUD housing for low income. He received very little SSI and I assumed all of the monies plus his doctor appointments.

    SELF-AWARE: I became his secretary and applied for his government subsidies., and mine also, and beyond.

    WHY? major challanges for his funds and arranging doctor appointments. Sort of budgeting our different living. His medication shut down his affection. I noticed that I was in the middle of a control issue. So I released him from my respnsibleness to his self.

    At 2005,I at 63 contracted high blood pressure, then plack restriction of the aortic valve. Had surgery. More government adjustment monetarily.

    HOW? Then doctor bills for me, Still on High Blood Pressure. Now I am HIM AND mE once again. We stayed in HUD housing.

    SELF-AWARE: Enrolled in Release Technique. Made great strides about emotional, mental that year.

    WHY? We were not working and living on what we recived during the housing crunch and having to use Uncle's money to pay bills! He got emotionally distraught over our bankruptcy I chose to do. I went ahead with it on my own. Double stress again.

    2008 and on. couldn't get loans for anything.

    Got a used Ford for transportation. Got on insurance subcidy for food and long range transport, heating, phone system didn't cover computor internet. With new technology we were just keeping up....So I got a cell phone. Still arranging all doctor appointments.

    2012: Became aware of our psychic selves and the SHIFT. We became aware and contacted by Ascended Masters who informed us we were their lost children. We discovered we were brother and sister. We'd married in AZ for legal reasons. Our interests were the same. We awoke to realize our station in life. So we were trained to budget our monies. I elected to do mastership training. He as well. WE are Reiki Masters. So 2014 is moving along.

    2014: We have learned a lot about ourselves. We are advised to stay together because we have places to be. He is taking better responsibility of himself and I likewise. WE are major light workers. I am celebrating our evolution and ascension even more since we found Arcturus family. We are Lemurians.

    Thanks for your information!

  12. Thank you for the quick view of many years,