5-23-12

THE INNER VOICE

Beloveds, we, Mytria/Mytre, have returned to continue our story.

We left off with the call of a small inner voice tickling our consciousness. After such a long time of moving, establishing, fighting and leaving we had lost most of desire for deep inner contemplation that had once been our keynote. Now, with peace and calm entering our lives again, we were returning to our SELF.

But, who was that voice that so many of us were hearing? Was it our Spirit in a more tangible manner, or was it a version of the SELF to whom we were returning? Some of us were too busy with their daily lives to place too much attention on these questions. On the other hand, those of a feminine, introspective expression, such as Mytria, could not ignore the questions or the inner voice. Therefore, Mytria will tell her story, as we were two people then. In fact, we had not even met.

MYTRIA SPEAKS:

I was among the ones who first banned together to connect with our Spirit, so the inner voice was not small to me. In fact, my inner voice constantly haunted me and would give me no rest. I could not sleep and ate only for survival. Therefore, I became increasingly tired and, eventually, sick. However, none of the healers could determine the cause of my inability to sleep, extreme sensitivity to food, aching joints, dizziness and confusion. They assumed it was because I was exhausted and recommended that I return home to rest.

However, sleep would not come. I tossed and turned and kept my housemates awake with my constant shuffling around and groaning. Finally, they came to me as one unit and suggested that I spend some time in one of the new Temples that were being created. Their suggestion brought the first inner peace I had felt since the inner voice began giving me instructions, which seemed impossible to understand. In fact, it was not until the moment of my beloved friend’s suggestion that I realized that I had actually been receiving instructions.

Unfortunately, these instructions were in a language that I could only receive in pictures, metaphors, emotions and disassociated thoughts. Perhaps one of the Elders who were establishing the Temples could assist me. I was barely an adult, only about 70 of your years. (As I said, we live much longer than you.) I had spent most of my life on a Star Ship, as I was born in-between our different planetary homes. Nonetheless, since I grew up with all the stories and was naturally VERY empathic, I felt as though I had lived through each planetary experience.

In fact, I was told that I had been with them then, as my life seemed to run in a sequence of constant birth, death, birth, death and birth again. As a child, I remembered these lives as clearly as I remembered what I had done the day before. However, when I became an adolescent I wanted to create a NEW version of myself rather than live what appeared to be a long sequence of the same version of life over and over again. 


Perhaps, my confusion and dizziness was because all my other lives were coming back to me, and all at once. Every life seemed to be telling me the same thing and leading me to the same destination. However, I could not understand what I was being told or where I was being led. I desperately needed guidance.

Unfortunately, because our Temples were still under construction, we had to set an appointment to talk with someone and wait for an opening. I will not use segments of years, months or days, as we counted time very differently than you do. I will just say that I was forced to wait—and suffer—for what appeared to me to be a very long time.

However, my housemates had made it quite clear that I was being a disruptive influence to our unit. They had all found their positions in creating our new life and worked day and night towards that end. I, on the other hand, had not found that which my inner voice was guiding me towards and was riddled with fearful emotions because of my inner confusion. I decided that I should go into Nature and spend my time alone in the beautiful surroundings of our new, planetary home.

Consequently, the next morning before dawn, I grabbed a small “portable dwelling,” which was similar to your “tents,” packed some staples and simple cookware and took off into the woods. I had no idea where I was going or what I was going to do, but as I left my message for my housemates as to my destination, I felt a brief, very brief, moment of peace. Then I quietly left, closing the door on my first experience of a planetary home.

Since I had grown up visiting new planets, moons and asteroids, my survival skills in an unknown terrain were excellent. I never thought for a moment that I would be in any danger. Besides that, I had always had an attachment to the land of any area that we visited. In fact, it was my guidance, along with others, that assisted us to find this beautiful world of abundance and peace. Now, I had no idea where I was going, by I was a born navigator and knew I could return to our small village when it was time for my appointment.

I walked all day before I found a sheltered place where I could put up my dwelling. With my dwelling constructed, I sat down to eat some of the simple food that I had quietly packed. I only brought enough food for a few meals, as I did not want to take from my dear friends. Besides, I was quite confident that I could live off the land. As I ate, looking out into the ever-darkening sky, I felt calmer than I had been since my inner voice had started screaming in my mind. The food actually tasted good, and I enjoyed every bite. Surely, this was a sign that I had made the right choice…

To the contrary, I woke up to the first storm we had experienced since we landed on this planet. I awoke clutching a small blanket and realized that my dwelling had blown away and my eating utensils where scattered all over the area. Some of them I never found. I had wanted an adventure, but I got a bit more than I had counted on. I knew better than to walk around in a storm, so I took what I could gather and huddled under the lip of an overhanging rock.

As I sat against the rock I mused. I had walked since before dawn and only stopped when it grew dark. Then, I stayed up until late watching the new star systems in the night sky. I can only imagine it was because I was so tired that I did not see any of the warning signs for this huge storm. And, why did I not wake up sooner? Perhaps I had lived in a village too long, and I had lost touch with nature. It definitely appeared that I had lost touch with my self.

Since the stars were now invisible, and they were the form of navigation that I had learned on the Star Ship, I had to stay put until storm ended and the skies had cleared. Only the great fatigue that I had been suffering for many rotations of our moons, could allow me to fall asleep in the midst of a huge storm. I do not know how long I slept, if it was actually sleep, as my mind was seeing that which had up until now evaded me. I remember repeatedly saying in my night body, “I must remember this dream.”

I awoke to a beautifully clear day with that thought in my mind. However, I could not remember the dream. I only had the same flitting images that had been haunting me since the voice began. However, the dream seemed to place these images in a sequence, which—of course—I could not remember. A great light that was shinning on my body, drying my clothes and warming the rock had awakened me. I was lying back against the rock that had offered me shelter from the storm when something caught my attention. When I looked more closely, I saw that the rock glistened as if a million small stars were embedded within it.

I had been to many planets and seen many landscapes, but I had never seen a rock like this before. I decided that since the storm had brought me here, I would stay here, against this rock for as long as necessary. However, what was left of my food was gone, so I had to remember my empathic skills of finding water and “knowing” what was edible. It was these innate abilities that had brought me purpose on the Star Ship, a purpose that I had lost since we had settled into our new world. The water was found, the food was located, the night skies were mapped and I was—useless.

Perhaps that is one of the reasons why I had been having so much difficulty. I had not found my place within our society. I was too young to serve in the Temples and too old to sit around, which is what I had been doing. No wonder my housemates had tired of my presence. With the thought of my inability to find my “place” I drifted off into sleep—or was it a deep meditation?

We shall return and Mytria will continue her story,

Mytria/Mytre