My First Meeting with Arcturus Part II

A month after my meeting with Illia Em, the bliss of higher consciousness has plummeted down into my subconscious fears and depressions. I contacted Illia Em again, and this was her message. It was one that was quite a surprise to me.

8-30-95

Dear IlliaEm

Please help me to understand what is happening inside of me these last few days. I know that the fear of survival is rising from the animal within me. However, there is another feeling that is so primal that I cannot put a word to it. It feels like a long lost part of my Soul, a part of me that has been forgotten since I first took on a physical form, is beginning to awake after a long, long sleep.

I know that the other dimensions of myself have always been alive and active, but I [the part of "I" that is known as Sue] have not been aware of them. Perhaps my animal is afraid that if I become aware of those portions of myself that I will be abandon it. Perhaps I will. I do not know what is in store for us all as we move into the higher dimensions. Please illumine me regarding the old feeling that I am having. I would also like to know about how will transmute our bodies as the vibration of the planet raises.

Beloved Suzille,

I AM Illia Em. The part of you that is afraid of death is your body deva. It is afraid that when there is no longer a third dimension that it will become extinct. What it needs to know is that it will be raised in vibration just like the rest of you. No portion of your third dimensional self will become extinct. There is no death, and there is no extinction. There is only transformation and metamorphosis. As your physical form begins to rise in vibration, the particles will slowly move farther and farther apart.

See yourself now traveling into the heart of an atom. First see this atom as a small spec in front of you. Now, slowly begin to zoom in on it with your mind screen. See how this atom is getting larger and larger. Now you can see it is like a small galaxy with the nucleus being the sun and protons and electrons orbiting around it. Go into a place in your body that is a correlate to this atom.

Find the small place in your heart this is opening as you are learning unconditional love. Yes, there it is, right in the very center of your heart. If you cannot enter that small opening in your heart, than how can you allow others to open it? First you must open your heart to yourself unconditionally before you can learn to love others in that same way.

"Yes Illia Em, I am opening that small portions of my heart to myself. I see the small galaxy that is an atom in the core of my heart. I see the nucleus like a glowing Sun. It is inviting me to enter it. Will I be extinguished by its Light if I fall into it?"

My dear Suzille, you will be extinguished if you do not. Now see the nucleus grow larger and larger until it is expanded beyond the edges of your inner vision screen. Do not forget that this is the nucleus of the atom of the opening of your heart. This is the core of your Unconditional Love. Deep within the blazing nucleus, you will see a small doorway. It is entirely surrounded by bright light. You will have to feel it more than see it.

"Yes, I see/feel it now. The doorway is opening. It is the darkest dark that I could ever imagine. But wait; in the very center of the void of darkness I see a small light. I move through the doorway into the complete darkness. The darkness is like a black hole. It seems to absorb all of my essence and all of my light. However, there is no sense of good or bad. It is simply a sense of obliteration of all that ever has been. As I pass through the doorway, it seals shut behind me. I suppose that I should be afraid, but I am not.

“I feel content as if I am finally performing the mission for which I first took embodiment. I am also aware of the portion of myself that is very third dimensional and sitting at the computer. How will I return to that reality or rather how can I believe that this reality is as real as that one once I have returned to it? I must believe that this reality is not an illusion. It is the core of my Self, the core of my unconditional love.

"Yes, I am beginning to understand the feeling I have been having, the sadness and the primal fear of extinction. I know now that it is a fear that I have been wrong. It is a fear that what I have always sought, which is this doorway into the unknown, is not real. It is the fear that all there truly is exists in the outside world of the third dimension. Yes, the feeling that has been plaguing me is doubt. Self Doubt. Doubt in my own sanity. Doubt that I can be so dedicated to my convictions that I will be able to release the third dimension."

My Beloved Suzille, you do not need to release the third dimension. It is a portion of you. It will not be released, but will instead be integrated into the other portions of you. No part of you will become extinct. Just as you are a small portion of myself, your physical self is a small portion of you. Do not abandon it or judge it. It is serving the function for which it has been created.

You are one of our Ones who have given yourself over to be a prototype for the transformation of the physical body. Therefore, you will have sensations of loneliness from the third dimension because you will not be able to share your experience with many on that plane. Therefore, it is vital that you build deep and lasting relationships with the other portions of yourself and the world that can only be entered through the doorway of yourself. Doubt, my dear, is your only enemy. (It is very true that for many years I could not share that part of me with any one.)

"I am feeling very different as you speak to me IlliaEm. My body is becoming less and less dense. I feel like it is expanding to fill the entire room. I feel how it is touching the walls around me and how it is a part of the computer in front of me. I feel my mind like the computer and I have less and less awareness of how my fingers are typing onto the keyboard or how it may look upon the screen. I am becoming the experience of expansion.

“As I travel deeper and deeper into the nothingness of this darkness, I see before me a nebula. It is of glorious colors of red and violet and pink. I now travel into the core of it and see glimpses of blue and an unusual form of green that is not possible upon earth. Through the nebula is a distant star, but is coming upon my very quickly. Suddenly, the star bursts upon me and me upon it. I am the star. I am the space around it and I am the nebula light years before it.

“And now Illia Em, I see you. Your giant wings fill my vision, and your heart is fully open. The sun within your heart is rising over the mountains, and the Stream of Life is flowing into me. I feel a tingle through my entire self as this flow enters me. The me that sit at the computer is ONE with the me that embraces you. I move into your heart. I follow the Life Current like a salmon finding its origin. I travel up the Stream of Life, high into the mountains and into the setting sun. As the Sun totally descends, I travel beyond what is known, beyond what is perceived.

"And beyond my perception is Arcturus. I am on Arcturus. I see Lamire, my Divine Complement, preparing his ship for its journey to Earth. He turns, sees me and runs to greet me. We embrace and are instantly ONE. It feels wonderful to be complete again. Can I take this feeling back to my third dimensional self? How long will I have to return to that land of limitation? But as I think that thought, I remember my loved ones and the Nature there. I remember Illia Em's words,

You do not have to loose any of you. All will all become a portion of you, just as you are a portion of me.

“Lamire is smiling as I see him before me and within me. The third dimensional portion of myself is battling with itself in order to embrace the difficult concept of multidimensionality. I turn to my earth self and she sees me. I am the eye looking into the heart. I am seeing the many aspects of myself like a house of mirrors. There is NO limitation to the echoes of myself. There is NO boundary to experience. Kepier, my alternate reality that lives upon Arcturus in the correlate time frame to 21st century Earth comes to greet me. It is androgynous. We merge into one in greeting and I feel Illia Em join into the merging, as she has a special message for me:

My dear Suzille, I am indeed glad that you have been able to expand your sense of self to encompass this reality. Do you remember when you first left Arcturus to go to Venus in preparation for your journey to Earth? Yes, dear I can see that you do not. I will tell you that story now.

It was early dawn upon the planet of Zantrill and the sun was just rising above the horizon. At sunset, you had said good-bye to your comrades who would stay on Arcturus and afterwards spent the hours of darkness in deep meditation. Of course the time span of light and dark were at your choice because your resonant vibration was of the seventh density. However, the rhythm of inflow and outflow was a routine established in your pod, and you had all decided to collectively create a sunrise and sunset in order to create a group experience of inflow-darkness and outflow-light.

I, Illia Em, oversaw your pod from dimensions just above your own. All of the members of your pod had volunteered to make the journey to Venus. Some would than move on to Earth when they had learned to survive in a lower density, and some would stay in Venus to act as guides for those who went to Earth. There were 32 in your pod and all of you were like the fingers of a hand. You were individual in your consciousness, but unified in your awareness and purpose.

All of you were androgens. Your pod had chosen to answer the call of Earth and to enter into the great experiment of separation and third dimensional experience. Because all in your pod were of One group consciousness, all would have the experience of third dimensionally even if they remained on Venus. The adventure was beginning. There was no fear or sadness, as you had never experienced those emotions. They would not be a part of your awareness until you joined the evolution of Earth.

I have kept these experiences secret for over fifteen years, as I was never sure I believed them myself. I am so happy to feel that I can share them now, which I do in hopes that my secret stories may help you to believe your inner experiences as well.