Suzanne Lie, Ph.D., has been a seeker since she was a child where her active “imagination” took her deep into her inner life. She continues to regularly share her experiences and Arcturian teachings on her blog, Awakening with Suzanne Lie, and she wishes to help awakening ones come out of hiding and allow the glory of their highest expression of SELF into their everyday life.
I usually only post what I have written or channeled, but the below article so important that I wanted share it.
Discovered Among Bermuda Triangle Pyramids
Before It’s News -Perhaps overshadowing the
discoveries of the tomb of King Tut and Troy is the discovery of Atlantis. Now two bold scientists, Paul
Weinzweig and Pauline Zalitzki, say they have found it. They discovered the
ruins of the ancient city submerged off the coast of Cuba. In the distant past the region was
dry land, but now only the island of Cuba remains above water. The ancient city
is 600 feet below the ocean and the team of researchers led by Zalitzki
Weinzweig is convinced that it is Atlantis, the city lost by more than 10,000
Two scientists, Paul Weinzweig and Pauline Zalitzki,
working off the coast of Cuba in a submersible robot, have confirmed that there
is a huge city on the ocean floor. The site of the ancient city – including
several sphinxes and at least four giant pyramids and other structures – is
surprisingly within the boundaries of the legendary Bermuda Triangle.
According to a report from Terra Forming Terra
Arclein, Cuban Subsea Pyramid Complex, the evidence suggests that the city was
flooded simultaneously with the rising waters and land subsidence in the sea.
This corresponds exactly to the legend of Atlantis. The disaster could have
occurred at the end of the last Ice Age. As the Arctic ice sheet melted
catastrophically causing the sea level to rise rapidly around the world, especially
affecting the Northern Hemisphere. The coastlines
changed; land was lost, islands (including the island continent) disappeared
completely. At end of the last ice age sea level were lower than today’s levels
of nearly 122 meters. Theoretically, any technology then or now, could have
saved Atlantis from its watery grave. The evidence that the earth, in what is
now the Caribbean, also sank in the sea seems pretty certain.
Arclein observes: “when large portions of the Mid-Atlantic Ridge also decreased
including Lyones and islands and land mass around the Azores. Even if this has
not happened, this collapse was big enough. “This would have produced an
orthogonal pressure forcing the collapse of East or West. Since the cord
between Cuba and Yucatan is the natural point of weakness between the
subsidence of the basin subsidence Gulf and Caribbean basin, naturally gone deep. The
driver of this was the hydrostatic changes caused by both the original cortical
change 12,900 years ago I called the Pleistocene Nonconformity and slowly lift
the basin of Hudson Bay prompted by the end of the Ice Age. “
visits with Pauline Zalitzki regarding Atlantis
Cuban Missile Crisis Halts ResearchAccording
to journalist Luis Mariano Fernandez the city was first discovered decades ago,
but all access to her was arrested during and after the Missile Crisis. “The
U.S.government discovered the alleged place during the Missile Crisis Cuba in
the sixties, nuclear submarines cruising structures found (in the deep sea)
with a pyramid in the Gulf. Immediately shut down the site and took control of
it and objects, so that will not reach the hands of the Russians. “The
scientific team of experts from the ocean, oceanographers and archaeologists
found ruins of ancient buildings of 183 meters below the ocean. They say the
city is Atlántida (Atlantis).
evidence that the island of Cuba is the remnant of a once mighty culture is
supported by the discovery of the island Zalitzki containing symbols and
pictograms extremely old identical to those observed in the structures
submarines. Utilizing submersibles, they discovered structures, including
pyramids, similar (even higher than) the pyramids in Giza, Egypt. They believe that the
pyramids of Atlantis are built with stones of several hundred tons. The ancient
city also has magnificent sphinxes and “stones which are arranged like
Stonehenge, and a written language engraved in stones,” advises Fernandez .
Another giant pyramid topped with what looks like a crystal was discovered by
divers in the Bermuda triangle [see: Pyramids of Glass Submerged in Bermuda Triangle]
A Discovery That Rewrites History
Could this discovery change the vision of the history
of mankind? Yes, it could change everything.
Fernandez writes, “It has been confirmed that the
stones were cut, carved and polished to make them fit and form larger
structures. In the strange inscriptions, some of them similar to Egyptian hieroglyphics, very little is
known, except that they are very abundant and are found in almost all parts of
the field. They have also appeared symbols and drawings whose meaning is
The exploration of Atlantis, called Project
Exploramar, is expanding to discover more of the mysteries of the
mega-ciudad.Hablando with a scientist about the possibility that the ruins are,
in fact, the Atlantis, FernanEdez reports that the expert answered :
“… In today’s Yucatan cultures may even Aborigines
are those places perhaps the Olmecs or some very primitive civilization
of Yucatan, the northern part of Central America – as they originated on an
island that sank by cataclysm. This island is called Atlanticú. “
It also adapts to the stories about the sudden
disappearance of Atlantis wonderfully.
Atlanticú. Atlantis. Aboriginal natives still call in
its history. The Olmecs and other native peoples all have primary morphology
marking the arrival of this continent. This means coming from the direction of
Cuba, and had to occur in a very large earthquake where their land sank.
Morphologies indicate that they belong to three families who were saved. One of
these families came to the coast of Veracruz, which are supposedly the Olmec.
Others came to Central America and traveled to the Pacific coast, and these families
created the civilization of the Americas as we know it today, because they
distributed all their knowledge. When anthropologists saw these underwater
carvings, stone monoliths, some symbols and inscriptions, they were identified
with Olmec motifs. They were very surprised.
(If you want more information, just google paul weinzweig and pauline zalitzki
To transmute your physical form, it is
best that you release your attachment to human individuality and think of
yourself as a planetary being. For humans to ascend via their physical bodies
transmuting into the fifth dimension rather than "dying" as was
normal before this great era, you will need the assistance of Earth. At the
same time, in order for Earth to ascend without the extinction of Her physical
form, She needs human assistance.
Hence dear humans and Galactics/Celestials
in human form, you will need to expand your personal consciousness into
planetary consciousness. In this manner, there is no sense of personal
sacrifice or fear. There is only the great unity of person and planet ascending
as ONE Being. Furthermore, we request that those of you who have awakened to
your Multidimensional SELF no longer hold back your process. Others have chosen
the Mission of working with the beginners.
Those of you who are merged with your Multidimensional
SELF are more ready than you may think. Additionally, the higher light is
allowing you to expand your consciousness into higher and higher expression of
SELF. At the same time, your consciousness is expanding deeper and deeper into
your atomic, subatomic and quantum levels of consciousness. In other words, you
are not just raising your consciousness. You are expanding your consciousness
far beyond physical Earth, as well as deep into the matrix of Earth.
As your consciousness expands, so do
your perceptions. Also, when you expand your perceptions, you can change your
gene activity. When you choose to believe that your higher perceptions are
“real” you increase your perceptual field to the frequencies the fourth and
fifth dimensions. This extended perceptual field activates the neural activity
of your 97% multidimensional DNA. This multidimensional DNA is linked to your
higher expressions of SELF, as well each cell of your body.
Your earth vessel is an intelligent
biological earth ship, just as our Starships are biological. The current
container for your consciousness is just one of myriad containers on myriad
dimensions and parallel and/or alternate realities. You have decided to take
command of your current personal earth ship, which becomes a fourth-dimensional
etheric ship when you are “sleeping” and can expand into the higher dimensions
Your “dominant state of consciousness”
is the state of consciousness that directs your daily life and constant
perceptions. This state of consciousness is usually somewhere between your highest frequency
consciousness achievable during deepest meditation and the frequency of
consciousness that is responsible for directing you to react, rather than
interact. In other words, it is midway between your highest and lowest states
Once you realize that the act of
reaction determines the point of
perception that identifies your dominant
state of consciousness you will become conscious of that to which you chose
to react. In other words, the perception to which you choose to react creates your dominant point of perception within
that NOW. You have many different dominant state of consciousness throughout
your day depending upon the perceptions to which you react, respond, interact,
Just as your chakras are aligned to
different frequencies, every state of consciousness has a frequency of
perception. These perceptions are the sum-total of the frequency of reality you
have chosen by your placing your attention on, reacting, responding or
interacting with that specific version/frequency of reality. Every reality has
many versions, and each version is different because it resonates to a higher
or lower frequency.
There are myriad channels on your “TV of
3D Life.” The channel on which you choose to place your attention determines
your state of consciousness within that NOW. We say “that NOW” as to us all
reality exists within the HERE of the NOW. There is no coming or going in the
HERE NOW. We ARE. We resonate, we fluctuate, and most wonderfully we create.
We Arcturians are here to assist you in our
co-creation of the Arcturian Corridor. We have spoken often of this Corridor.
However, since you, our ascending ones, are now moving into a higher state of
consciousness you can perceive higher frequency components of our message that
were once beyond your power of perception. Hence, our (human and Arcturian)
Corridor is expanding along with your perceptions. http://www.multidimensions.com/TheVision/books.html
(Journey Through the
Arcturian Corridor 1 through 4)
To further assist Gaia we Arcturians are
in direct communication with many multidimensional beings presently wearing an
earth vessel. When we communicate we speak in Light Language. Light Language
resonates beyond time, polarity, limitation separation or fear. Since you must
be free of fear in order to receive our messages, some are unable to perceive
us. However, the higher light is continually expanding your perceptions and
filling you with unconditional love (the antidote for fear). Hence, more and
more of those wearing earth vessels are able to receive Light Language messages
from the higher dimensions.
You can receive these messages through
your fourth dimensional night body, or more consciously via meditations,
channeling, or other creative endeavors. You are able to receive these higher
dimensional messages because your consciousness is expanding into the
consciousness of your higher expressions of SELF, as well as into your cellular
consciousness. Through your cellular consciousness you will begin to
consciously experience the cellular, atomic and sub-atomic level of your
grounded earth vessel.
At this point, you will begin to commune
with your molecular self by exploring and healing old issues and situations
from your past that tell you that you are NOT the Captain of your earth
vessel. These limiting messages are at
the core of third dimensional thinking. When you enter your unconscious to
allow your past to heal your present, you confuse your third dimensional
Third dimensional thinking is also based
on the present that appears to be outside of you. Therefore, whenever you go
inside to ponder that past, which is hidden deep inside your subconscious, it
further confuses your third dimensional thinking. Then, as you give credence to
the lessons to be found within your past, a door opens to your past lives.
These past lives are introductions to your perceiving yourself from beyond the
barrier of time. Hence, your attachment to third dimensional thinking is
The first “past lives,” you choose to
ponder will likely be those with unfinished business that you brought into this
incarnation to finish. Hence, even your human history is beyond time, as it is
stored in your unconscious mind. Once you release time to heal and complete unfinished lives, you gain the courage
and wisdom to remember the past lives
in which you completed you’re chosen mission and gained great insight and
The acknowledgement of these lives
activates the memory of your Multidimensional SELF. Very often your unconscious mind is the archive for
old memories that you could not resolve when they occurred in that timeline.
However, with the wisdom, power and love of your Multidimensional SELF you have
the ability to bring that experience into its conclusion. We refer to your unconscious mind as the archive for
experiences from your past that you are too immature to process.
On the other hand, we refer to your subconscious mind
as a composite of everything you have ever perceived, as well as any
information your mind collects that cannot be consciously processed or acknowledged.
Your conscious mind cannot always absorb all available information, as it would
create an information overload. Therefore, the subconscious mind stores this
information where it can be retrieved by the conscious mind when it needs to
defend itself for survival or for higher cognitive purposes.
However, hidden deep inside your unconscious and
subconscious is your Divine Child who carries the “instruction manual” for your
current embodiment. These instructions are in Light Language sent only to you.
Hence, the process of deciphering this Light Language requires that you first
connect with higher expressions of your SELF before you look deep into your
unconscious and subconscious to find your Divine Child who remembers
When you look HI UP into your higher SELF while you
simultaneously look DEEP DOWN into your unconscious and subconscious mind you can
experience unconditional love and human emotion within the NOW. When you can
close these polarities of spirit and
matter with the power of your multidimensional perception, you enter the
NOW of the ONE as you merge your Divine Child with your Higher Expression of
Experiencing your Alpha, Divine Child and Omega, Higher
SELF confuses your 3Dconsciousness enough that you can jump out of time. Then the past of your unconscious and
subconscious can no longer interfere with your present on 3D Earth. When you
are fully merged with your NOW, you are able to perceive any third-dimensional
thought-forms from your past as lessons that have guided you into your present.
From this point of perception, you can easily liberate these injuries from your
past with the power of unconditional love and by perceiving them as cherished
We see that all of you, our Multidimensional Masters,
are preparing to expand your consciousness into the next frequency of reality.
Before this NOW, you did not have that option, as the frequency of your reality
was too low and infiltrated with fear. Because of the darkness of that reality
and the restrictions that it placed on your consciousness, you could not believe that your higher perceptions
Furthermore, you could not perceive your highest and
lowest resonance of your Multidimensional SELF, as this process can only occur
within the safety of unconditional love, which was rarely present on your
reality within the last 2000 years. Thus, unconditional love was forgotten and
re-written into a 3D format of conditional love. In this manner, the concept of
love lost its true meaning.
However, now with your 97% DNA coming on line you are
able to preview you highest self and your super-subconscious at the same time.
This expansion of perception is possible because of your expansion of
consciousness. Simultaneously, your expansion of consciousness is possible
because of your expanded perception. Also, the activation of your
multidimensional DNA allows you to believe
it is possible to perceive higher dimensions of reality.
It may appear that many humans are still asleep.
However, they are beginning to consistently awaken due to the activation of the
97%DNA. This DNA expands your perceptions beyond the confines of time, space,
separation and limitation. Simultaneously, as you expand your consciousness
beyond the 3D matrix of time, space, polarity, separation and limitation this
DNA is activated.
Once your multidimensional DNA is fully activated the
process of transmutation of matter advances exponentially. The feedback loop of
the higher light having a frequency of matter that can contain it, while
multidimensional DNA goes about the process of creating a vessel that can
contain even higher frequencies of light, begins a process of transmutations of
third dimensional matter into multidimensional matter.
Of course, the multidimensional DNA was always within
your earth vessel as a latent reminder of your potential to return to your true
multidimensional nature. However, this potential needed to be activated by the
higher frequencies such as photons charged with particles of infrared,
ultraviolet and gamma rays. These frequencies of light, as well as frequencies
still unknown or named to your world, make up the higher light that is
streaming into your world.
Humans have been doing some important research about
the role of DNA on the evolution of the human species. Below is a short summary
of this research:
In 1990, a group of
Russian physicists, molecular biologists, biophysicists, geneticists,
embryologists and linguists began a study of this “junk” DNA. Dr. Peter Gariaev
PhD who is a Biophysicist and Molecular Biologist directed this research
project. These scientists irradiated DNA samples with laser light. On screen, a
typical wave pattern was formed. When they removed the DNA sample, the wave
pattern did not disappear, it remained.
experiments showed that the pattern continued to come from the removed sample,
whose energy field apparently remained by itself. This effect is now called phantom
DNA effect. It is surmised that energy from outside of space and time still
flows through the activated wormholes after the DNA was removed.
They determined that this
DNA is also a complex, biological, micro-computer chip that communicates with
its environment. Dr. Gariaev found that the basic structure of these DNA
alkaline pairs is the same as that of human language. Thus, they can be
influenced and reprogrammed solely by the thought waves in our environment. Dr.
Gariaev and Dr. Poponin also discovered that there is a multidimensional field
structure surrounds our DNA chain.
Other studies were done by Dr. Bruce Lipton, Ph.D. who is an
internationally recognized Cellular Biologist and a pioneer in a new field
called Epigenics. In his book, titled The Biology
of Belief, Dr. Lipton writes about his discovery that evolution is, in
fact, driven by consciousness. The caterpillar and the butterfly have the
exact same DNA. They are the exact same organism. But they are
responding to a different frequency.
Dr. Lipton has discovered
that it is not genes that control life at the cellular level. It is the mind’s
perception of its environment. He coined the term “Spontaneous
Evolution” because he has discovered that our DNA scans our environment for
frequencies that are relevant to our existence, changes its structure, and then
sends messages to reshape it self accordingly.
As we stated earlier in our
message, many of you are ready to be co-creators of “our” Arcturian Corridor.
The Corridor is not a place; it is an inter-dimensional corridor in which
beings, as they are not all human, on the verge of ascension can gather to
connect, learn and remember the process of transmutation.
All of you who are on the cusp of
this ascension wave have had at least one experience of ascension. However, in
most of these experiences you released your consciousness from your
third-dimensional form and soared into higher dimensions. These ascensions were
transmutations of consciousness. In this ascension, you are not only transmuting
your consciousness, but your physical AND your planetary body as well.
Thus, it is vital that you merge
with your planetary consciousness so that you and Gaia can act as a team. Many
of you have already gathered within the Arcturian Corridor to learn about
inter-dimensional travel. Now, you will be learning about transmutation of your
personal and planetary body. As you awaken your cellular consciousness, you
will be able to deeply merge with Gaia, as well as assist us to implant our
Corridor into the body of ascending Earth.
Your great, Multidimensional SELF is about to make a full
appearance in your daily life. As you begin to perceive life from a higher
perspective, you will send signals to your DNA that it is “time to enter your
cocoon” and begin your transmutation. However, you, the ascending ones on
Earth, will not be able to ONLY focus totally on your process of transmutation.
In fact, you will, and are now, called upon to perform your
daily tasks while you are in the process of totally restructuring your
thoughts, emotions, consciousness, DNA and earth vessel. Fortunately, you will
be able to call upon us, as well as your own higher expressions of SELF.
I think I have met someone. He is blond and
has piercing blue eyes. As soon as our eyes met, we seemed to have an instant
connection. He even looked familiar, but maybe that was because of the dreams I
had about being on a Spaceship. I actually met him while standing in line at a
I had been so depressed that I had not gone
to the store for a long time. Therefore, I had a huge order. This man, Jason is
his name, was behind me in line and only had a few things; so I let him go
ahead of me. Fortunately, the line was so long that we had a few minutes to
talk. Then, when I got to my car he was parked right next to me. I mean, what
are the odds of that happening? Jason said hello, almost like he had been
waiting for me, and helped me load up my groceries.
When the car was loaded he asked if I would
like to get some coffee. I started to say no because my ice cream would melt,
then laughed at my self. I could get more ice cream, but I may never see this
wonderful man again. However, I did see him again. In fact, we have gotten
together or talked every day since we met just two weeks ago. We are such a great
match that it feels like we have known each other forever.
It is interesting how love is the best cure
for depression, as I have not had any since Jason and I met. Oh, did I actually
say the word "love." I don't want to jinx this relationship, but
somehow I just know that we are meant to be together.
I have over lit humans before, but I had not
considered merging with a lower frequency of my SELF in the same manner as the
Arcturian had merged with me. I had been so engulfed in my wonderful lessons
regarding the higher expressions of my Multidimensional SELF that I had not
considered the concept of me being a higher expression to a lower frequency of my SELF.
Since my Mytre self resonates beyond the
confines of time, it was quite simple for me to preview my third dimensional
expressions on Earth during the 2013 timeline. I found that I had ten physical
expressions of my Multidimensional SELF on that timeline.
Five were women and three of the men were
the wrong age, married or unwilling to connect with me, even in their dream
body. This left two men who were unconsciously open to my connection. However, one
of them lived far away from Sandy and was quite content with his life. Jason
lived in a different city than Sandy, but he was interested in a job in her
area and desperately wanted to change his life. Hence, he was my best choice.
Therefore, Jason became the physical
expression of my Multidimensional SELF with whom I would merge. Since Sandy is
one of Mytria's expressions of SELF in that physical timeline and Jason was one
of my 3D expressions, falling in love with each other would be more like
recognition. Sandy was in great need of love and support since Mytria had left
and would be open to meeting a new friend, but first I had to merge with Jason.
Mytria seemed to have just "walked
into" Sandy, but I am sure it was more complicated than that. Also, Mytria
had been a healer while she was a Keeper of the Violet Flame on our Homeworld.
I imagine that that experience made is easier for her to merge with another
person. On the other hand, I had been a warrior and had been taught to keep
strict boundaries between my self and others. However, I did have the
experience of merging with a higher expression of my SELF, the Arcturian, but I
had never merged with a lower expression of my SELF.
I called out to the Arcturian, but Its lack
of response meant that I had to do this on my own. Since the Arcturian always
taught by example, I assumed that It wanted me to use my experience of merging
with It as a lesson that I received within the timeless NOW. Therefore, I began
by remembering how it felt to have the consciousness of the Arcturian
surrounding me and infusing me with unconditional love.
Therefore, I filled my essence with
unconditional love and entered Jason’s aura. Instantly, I could fill the
unconditional love moving through both of our forms. This unconditional love
allowed us to relax into the experience of a unique sensation free of fear or
Yes, I would need to "take some
time" to build a relationship with Jason, just as the Arcturian had done
with me. I began our communications while he was in his night body. Night after
night, I merged with his astral body while we traveled to our Scout Ship, which
was hovering just beyond Earth's atmosphere. Then, I took him to the
Mothership, which made the greatest impression on him. I was surprised how
quickly he became bonded with me.
In fact, since Jason was so receptive to my
teachings and suggestions, I decided to only merge with his fourth dimensional
astral body. In this manner, I might be able to better protect myself from the
myriad illusions and fear-based emotions of physical Earth during that
timeline. After about three months of earth time I expanded my essence into
Jason's astral form. He did not appear to remember his “dreams” of visiting the
Starships or even our nightly conversation. However, he began to greatly change
He started doing yoga and became very
attracted to meditation. He quit the job he hated and moved to his present
location (which is very close to Sandy) to take the job with a company that has
been pursuing him for some time. The pay is quite a bit less, but the work is
far more creative.
Meanwhile, Sandy has been trying to move
beyond her depression. She has been going outside more and taking long walks.
In fact, her trip to the grocery store was because she had decided to stop
eating junk food and cook herself some healthy meals. It appears that Mytria
made more of an impact on Sandy than she thought.
It is a very interesting experience for me
to inhabit even a fourth dimensional form. I can completely understand how
Mytria got lost in a physical form, as the illusions there are quite addictive.
The third dimensional form is incredibly dense and must be fed on a regular basis. Since I have merged with Jason's aura I have
come to fully understand why he became trapped in a job he hated in a location
he did not like. The "fear for survival" is so extreme in the third
dimension that it reminds me of my years fighting in the Galactic Wars.
I have so much more respect for Earth humans
than I ever did before. I am wearing a fourth dimensional form while I am
simultaneously aware of my higher expression and still feel uncomfortable. I
cringe to think how difficult it must be for the humans who have not remembered
their higher expression. As I say that, I realize why I have remained only in
Jason's aura. I must NOT become lost in this illusion as Mytria did. However,
Mytria did free herself, even though she forgot some of important factors of
inter-dimensional travel such as creating a firm grounding point.
Deciding to remain in this frequency of
Jason's earth vessel is a good idea. While my primary attachment to Jason is
through his fourth dimensional aura, I can better remember my true SELF. I
learned from Mytria that fully merging with a third dimensional body can make
it very difficult to remember your Multidimensional SELF.
From this fourth dimensional connection with
Jason, I am able to interface with him in a very personal way. Also, since
Jason met Mytria's grounded expression of Sandy I have been experiencing
falling in love with Mytria's essence all over again. It is quite a wonderful
Almon and I settled into our old friendship.
Even though he is a parallel expression of Mytre, he has created new components
of that essence that are quite different from Mytre. I am enjoying being with
Almon again, but it also makes me miss Mytre. I was unable to communicate with Mytre
once I became lost in the human vessel of Sandy, and it feels like we have been
apart too long. However, I am regaining my connection with Mytre, as well as
with Sandy. Actually, I am feeling that something very wonderful is occurring
in her life. In fact, it feels like she is falling in love.
At the same time, I feel like Mytre is with
Sandy, but not as his true SELF. Yes, as I tune into my dear Mytre, I realize
that he too has entered an earth vessel on the same timeline as I did. No,
wait, he did not totally enter it. Yes, I think he is actually in the fourth
dimensional aura of that person, a man. Oh, my, the man is with Sandy, and they
are falling in love. Mytre, my love, my SELF, you have created a beacon of love
to guide me back to where I began this journey.
I wonder if I dare bi-locate there, as I
must finish what Almon and I began? No, not yet. I need to regain more of my
multidimensional memory. Fortunately, if I can FEEL Mytre, then I am sure that he
can feel me. Nonetheless, as soon as I am totally healed I will find a way to
directly communicate with him. Perhaps, I can call upon the Arcturian to assist
us? I will do that soon.
For now, I am content in knowing that Mytre
is assisting me. In fact, it may well be that this situation is within our
divine plan. After all, there are no mistakes or accidents, only unexpected
I have decided to keep a journal of this
journey I have begun. Just a few months ago I was in a big city with traffic
and smog doing a job that I hated but was afraid to leave. In fact, I realize
now that I was afraid of a lot of things. To be honest with my self, I was
suffering from chronic anxiety. Every day I had to struggle to wake up and face
the traffic I hated, a job that left me brain dead and friends that could only
have fun when they were half, or fully, drunk.
I am not sure how I got the courage to
finally take this new, wonderful, job and move to this calm town that is
surrounded by nature. I also started hiking and even doing yoga. My friends from my former life would laugh
at me if they knew that I was actually meditating. If I ever tried to tell them
about the dreams I have been having, they would have laughed me out of the bar.
I don't even know where a bar is here, and I left my TV at my former apartment.
I just need to be quiet inside myself for a
while. Also, my new job takes a lot of homework
while I learn all these new graphic programs on my new computer that they,
actually, gave me. My old job never gave me anything except criticism. Of
course, they could probably tell that I hated it there. I could see the relief in
their eyes when I quit. My friends" just slapped me on the back and said,
"Oh, you'll be back soon." Thanks for the support guys.
NO, I am not going to be a martyr anymore. I
chose them to be my friends, and I chose to stay in the job that I hated. Why
did I make those choices? I have to admit that I was just afraid of change, any
change. I am not sure where I got the courage to finally change my life, but my
In fact, I met someone! I was standing in
line behind her in the grocery store and felt an instant attraction to her. She
had a huge cartful of food and told me to go ahead of her. A nice girl! I have
not met any nice people in a long time. There I go again with the martyr thing.
I can now admit that I was so lost in my own fear that I started to wear a
"kick me” sign. Then I wondered why I was such a victim. No more. I got my
courage back, and I am keeping it.
I even talked with Sandy, that is her name,
while we were in the line. Then I had the courage to hang out by my car to see
her when she left the store. How could it be that we were actually parked right
next to each other? That has to be a sign.