Clearly, the initiation of which I have been speeking was one in which I would have to stay in my body. This was not an initiation in which I was able to leave, to fly off into another dimension or into my world of imagination. This initiation was about staying within my physical form, which is a component other physical form of our dear mother Gaia, even though staying with in this form was extremely uncomfortable.
Before my surgery, my Initiation, I had to merge with my fear. I had to become my fear until I could love it free. Then, after my surgery, Final Initiation, I had to merge with my pain. I had to allow the physical pain to reveal all the psychotically and emotional pain that I had felt through out this lifetime. There was a LOT of pain.
Within the 24 hours preceding my surgery, somehow I have learned to manage my fear. When I went into the preparation for the surgery I had no fear. When they rolled me down the hall to the surgery room I had no fear. When I entered the surgery room and was put onto the table I had no fear, and when anesthesiologist came into the room two first quote make me unconscious” I had no fear. I had no fear not because I meditated or because I was spiritual. I had no fear because I fully surrendered to the circumstances and refused to contemplate being afraid.
The management of my pain was an ongoing process of realizing the deep connection between physical and psychic pain. I also recognized how my persistent reactionary behaviors created psychic pain and fear. It was my need to control my environment in order to control my anxiety that came into my immediate attention. I could not control anything. I could do very little for myself and was dependent on others for almost everything.
Therefore, my need to control them interfered with my need to get their assistance. Of course, I am only talking about very close friends and family members, as they were the only people I saw. I found that, when I surrendered to the time schedules and choices of others, I could more easily surrender to my pain. I could not control my environment, but I could surrender to it. Through this process I could more easily surrender (relax into) my pain.
In the third day after the surgery, (when the pain was much less) I was drawn to go and pull some Runes. Runes are an ancient Celtic means of divination. The first Rune that I pulled was a Rune representing “Stand Still.” It said, “You may find yourself entangled in a situation in which you can only submit, surrender, even sacrifice some long cherished desire. This Rune represents “A gestation for rebirth.”
The next rune I pulled represented “Constraint, Necessity, and Pain.” This Rune said, "Identify your shadow areas where growth was stunted resulting in the weakness which we project onto others.” This Rune represents “The rectification that comes before progress.”
The third Rune I pulled represented “Signals.” This Rune said, “When you nourish and give to yourself, there is always enough to nourish others.” This Rune represents “Connection with the divine is at hand.”
These Runes had given me the exact information that I needed at that time to give me the courage to “stay the course.” I had not drawn Runes in a very long time, but because I listened to my inner guidance I received information that was vital for me to continue my journey. I say this to remind my self, as well as others, to listen to the voice within for it is the true voice of our SELF
After reading the Runes, it came into my awareness about:
10 PHASES OF THE ASCENSION PROCESS
1) Downloading the multidimensional light and unconditional love that is entering us through our Crown and settling in to our opened Third Eye and High Heart.
2) Loving that light and love so much that we can allow it to travel into the hidden darkness and fear of our deepest subconscious self.
3) Allowing the multidimensional light to reveal this fear to our conscious self and using the unconditional love to heal and set it free.
4) Through the process of revealing and healing our fear with light and love, we learn unconditional love and detached compassion for our physical body, reality, experiences and persistent reactionary patterns (behaviors) that we formerly identified as our self.
5) As we integrate the multidimensional light, unconditional love and detached compassion into our consciousness and our physical body, we begin the activation of our Lightbody.
6) With the activation of our Lightbody we began to emanate multidimensional light and unconditional love from the core of our self and out through our Third Eye and High Heart. It is the emanation of this higher expression of our SELF that begins the opening of our Ascension Portal. This portal acts much like a compass to guide us on our process of returning to the Multidimensional Being of light that we have always been. This open Portal allows us more intimate communication and communing with the higher frequencies of reality.
7) At this point we must SURRENDER to whatever happens. It is this surrender that allows us to begin our Final Initiation. With in this Final Initiation we will take one sweep into our deepest subconscious to love free any and every fearful thought, emotion, memory and behavior that has impeded our complete connection with our Multidimensional SELF.
8) We NOW Know that everything is Perfect.
9) With the acceptance that ALL is perfect, we can embrace the innocence and purity of our Divine Child, the part of us that has never forgotten our SELF. With in this purity and innocence, we can actively await the New Dawn with an Open Heart.
10) LET GO!