Saturday, May 7, 2011

May 5, 2011

Now that I am feeling so much better I am putting all my experiences into a sequential form, although, these events actually exist within the no-time of the ONE. I left off with writing THE RETURN PART II when I was in the Restoration Chamber on board the Starship Athena. Something happened in that Chamber that began a chain of events, which I would like to share. At the request of the Arcturians I have shared my process of awakening from the very beginning in my site. Therefore, I shall continue to share my experiences of, what I have come to realize, Ascension.

Written on March 19, 2011

Once we know where we are going,

We know what we have to do in order to get there.

I was beginning to live in the two realities of by stepping stone SELF and my third dimensional self. I was going to work, writing up new information for the website, probing into my deep subconscious and living on the fifth dimensional Starship as Kepier. I was NOT taking care of my physical, Earth vessel. I was not exercising. I was not going to the gym, and I was eating far too much sugar. I was in my head and in my consciousness. That is, I was in my super-conscious and my deep sub-conscious, but I was NOT in my earth body.

In other words, it was the perfect transiting Pluto conjunction with Sun and Mars experience, which were my astrological aspects at that time and still are. When Pluto first conjuncted my Sun, I began to channel the Arcturians through my voice. This experience expanded my consciousness further than I had ever experienced. However the superconscious—subconscious roller coaster of Pluto had begun. When I first channeled in the Arcturians through my voice, it initiated a conscious awareness of my higher dimensional self beyond anything I had ever experienced. However, shortly after that I plummeted down into my deepest subconscious to release the old habits of depression that needed to be leave in order for me to continue on this higher path.

The ascension path is a higher dimensional experience beyond our highest expectations. First, we have seemingly random experiences of Being Lightbody. Then, we must go down deep into our subconscious in order to release that which has always stood in our way of living in that state of consciousness. However, I have digressed from my story, so I shall now return. Even though I was very much in my head and subconscious at that time, I was also in my heart. I was talking to many interesting and ascending people and doing a lot of creative writing, meditations and videos. I was also taking care of paying the bills, balancing the checkbook, doing the chores, buying food etc. etc. But, I was not taking care of my body.

Since our attention goes where our heart and mind are focused, which in my case were the higher dimensions, I went right out of my body. I was walking on flat ground right next to my husband, and I leaned down to adjust my left shoe. As I started to walk again I took a bit of a crooked step and then, suddenly, I was on the ground. Where I was between the step and the ground, I did not know. I did know that I had to surrender to my consequences of abandoning my body. I knew instantly that I greatly hurt myself and that a huge initiation had begun. I knew that I had repeatedly abandoned my body over my life. I had made my body my enemy and had not loved it.

I had a death experience when I was only six weeks old, but my mother came in to check on me and saw that I was blue. She lifted me up and shook and shook, but I still would not breathe. Finally, she held me upside down and shook me until I coughed and came back into my physical body. Perhaps, I never forgave her for that. I was a crib death gone wrong. When I was on the other side, I was greeted by three huge beings of light. I told them that I did not want to go back, but they convinced me that if I lived long enough, I would be able to experience a reality in which Faeries and Angels were on Earth intermingling with the people. Of course, in my vision the people were primarily children.

Therefore I came back and spent a great part of my life hating it here. Since then I have come to terms with my life. In fact, I am quite happy and love myself unconditionally. However, the karma had settled into my body and had to be cleared. If I were to ascend while remaining alive, I would have to do a lot of healing on my 64-year-old body that I have spent decades disliking.

I went to the doctor, and he tried not to tell me that I would definitely need surgery. I tried to believe that I would not need to “go under the knife,” but deep inside I knew that I would have to face that fear. As a child, I was abducted by the Zetas and would lose complete control of my body while they came at me with sharp objects. At 64 I had never had any surgery, and I did not want to do that now. Unfortunately, I'd seen the look in doctor’s eye and knew that in order to regain use of my right arm (so that I could write and type and drive and be independent) I would have to face my greatest fear. I would have to face becoming unconscious with sharp objects coming to my body.

Furthermore, I would have to confront this issue within less than four weeks. The tendon to the rotator cup of my shoulder was severed, and it would retract in to my shoulder in such a manner that they would not be able to fix it if I waited for more than four or five weeks. This was an initiation that I would not be able to avoid. When I finally surrendered to the reality that it was time to face that original wounding of my childhood and to step right into my greatest fear, I had the most amazing experience of being Lightbody that I have ever had.

I will now recount that experience that I had on March 8, 2011.


Dear Kepier (my fifth dimensional stepping stone SELF),

How do I do this? I feel that I want to flash into Lightbody, but I also know that I need to keep this form to assist in healing Gaia.


You need to have a parallel reality of Lightbody so that you can maintain your earth vessel. Then you can BE the higher frequency reality which you are ME, and maintain your earth vessel. Remember, we are hybrids.

Take the energy of the power of ascension within you and direct it into the parallel reality of our life on the Starship Athena. Project the energy within the core of your form towards your vision of us on the Starship

Do you see how this projection flashes both of us past our expressions of form and into our expression of a brilliant star?

Yes, you must believe this experience! It is s real experience in a real reality, a reality in which you can remember your SELF.

See us, Kepier and Suzille, as ONE being in our fifth dimensional room.

See the frequency bridge that leads directly from your earth vessel to our room on the Ship.

Do you see how this frequency bridge glistens and glows? Do not cross the bridge. Instead, you are to become the bridge

You are the bridge! You are the reality of your fifth dimensional room, which is interconnected to your third dimensional room. This room has now become a portal through which you can BECOME the frequency of the bridge.

Feel how your energy expands when we mention “becoming the bridge.”

Feel your light and observe how the archway of the bridge connects both worlds.

Do you see why you are been so dizzy?

Do you see why you cannot drive now?

Contain that energy that you experience as dizziness within your fifth dimensional SELF. Observe how you can gradually share that energy with your third dimensional self.

Feel the undulating motion of your head as you move it in the infinity sign to integrate your fifth dimensional expression into your third dimensional earth vessel.

Hear the crackling sound in your neck as you loosen old resistance to change.

Do this motion on a regular basis in that chair in front of the portal at your desk until the cracking goes away. This cracking is the sound of your releasing the density of its form.

I will return to you when you have released that density and your body is ready for the next part of our process. For now, this is all your wounded earth vessel can take.

Unconditional love

Your SELF, Kepier

You may think that after that experience I would be very spiritual. However, “what goes up must go down” in order for us to find the Center Point, the Fulcrum Point, the Point of Ascension. So down I went, deep, deep, deep into my subconscious, deep into the conscious perception of my “persistent reactionary patterns.” Again, I had to see the part of me that I had refused to see so I could love myself unconditionally. And how did that unconditional love look? It looked like surrender.

I had to surrender to my persistent reactionary behaviors so that I could clearly see the part of me that I had deemed as un-lovable. In order for me to ascend, I had to know all of me. Or, at least, I had to know how I reacted to my daily life. To totally integrate my Multidimensional Operating System into my third dimensional brain, I had to consciously observe how I was persistently using my Third Dimensional Operating System to react to my physical life.

My initiation actually began in December of 2010, when I publicly announced that I had been abducted as a child. It was this announcement that allowed me to clear away the shame that I had never realized that I had, so that I could heal that experience once and for all. Since I was a child when those experiences began, and had no one to talk to about it, I forced my feelings into my deep subconscious until I doubted that it had ever happened. Therefore, I had denied an important part of my self in order to hide that experience.

This denial of an early traumatic experience came to the surface of my consciousness as shame. This dynamic is very common among children that have experienced a traumatic event. Because they were out of control (because I was out of control) over the situation, I made it my fault. By making the situation my fault, I gained a small amount of control. However, because it was “my fault,” what I felt was shame. Then, as most children do, I forgot the traumatic event, but I remembered the shame. It was this deep, unconscious shame that had to be loved free.


  1. I am glad you are feeling better. love love love

  2. You're correct, making something my fault means that I can control it somehow, which is better than no control at all.
    Who are the Zetas? What did they want with you?
    Does your husband realize these things about you, or do you have to wear a mask near him?